Friday, November 16, 2007

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!! -- Caps vs. Lightning, November 16th

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!!

Yes, Caps fans, we must put last night’s excruciatingly frustrating 2-1 loss to the Florida Panthers aside, because today, it is a trip to the other side of the peninsula to face the Tampa Bay Lightning, and “lightning” is just what they’re playing like.

But it’s early in the morning, and we were perusing the morning paper (yes, we do read that ancient and archaic form of media each and every day…uncool as it might seem to some). And two stories caught our eye…the first was a story about new scans of an old critter – the “Nigersaurus” – that looks like an odd cross between Dino, from the old show, “The Flintstones,” and a platypus.

But there was another story, buried deep…very deep, you might say…in the news. It had to do with another discovery, one that will interest Caps fans. It was the discovery of…oh, shoot, let’s just go to the story…

Ancient "Scoring Beast" Uncovered in Slovakian Bog

Bratislava, SV (PPI*), November 15. Researchers from the Slovakian Academy of Prehistoric Studies (SAPS) disclosed today that they have uncovered an ancient “scoring beast,” as they put it, in a bog in the southeastern region of the country.

Researchers unearthed the skeleton of the dinosaur and named it “bondrasaurus,” or “scoring lizard.” The skeleton, measuring slightly less than two meters in length, suggests a creature built for speed. The legs of the bipedal creature permitted it to stay low to the ground – or in its case, ice, given its environment – and accelerate quickly toward its prey. The skeletal structure of the arms and wrists also suggested an ability to grasp implements and to yield them in a variety of ways, perhaps in a fashion where projectiles were shot at targets.

One of the researchers in the expedition commented that, “it is striking how this creature was built for what amounted to a singular purpose – to use its speed and eye-hand abilities to close in on its prey and propel objects at it, probably using fallen branches or other available instruments.”

Research indicates that the discovery is distantly related to the “bureasaurus,” a finding of which was discovered near Moscow a short time ago, and the “mogilnyasaurus,” discovered in the far east of what is now Russia.

Another member of the expedition remarked that, “curiously, the beast seems well adapted to its environment, but also could flourish in this era.” When asked in what capacity, the researcher said, “probably as a hockey player. There are teams that could use a creature like this that looks like it could score some goals.”


Well…how ‘bout that? Before we get to our second cup of coffee, what about the Lightning? Well, they’re on a roll. After losing six in a row, the last five of them in regulation, they’ve snapped off four wins in a row. In doing so, they’ve outscored the opposition 19-5. Clearly, they haven’t been having trouble scoring goals. They’ve been getting them from the usual suspects, too…Vincent Lecavalier has five of them (including a hat trick his last time out, against Carolina), and Martin St. Louis and Vaclav Prospal have three each. Their power play hasn’t been extraordinary – 3-for-18 over those four games (16.7 percent), but their penalty killing has slammed the door shut – 12 of 13 (92.3 percent).

If you’re looking for someone else to look out for (and “look out” might be heard a lot by Olaf Kolzig this evening), it might be Paul Ranger. He’s got a goal in each of his last two games, one of them being against the Caps, and he’s got respectable numbers from the blue line against the Caps – 2-4-6, +4, in 17 career games against Washington.

Johan Holmqvist has been in the nets for all four of those wins, posting a GAA of 1.25 and a save percentage of .958. Oddly enough, the team against which he has yielded the most goals in this mini-stretch…Washington. Yeah, it’s only two goals, but we need to find a ray of sunshine somewhere.

On the other side of the ice…it’s cold. 3-12-1 since the three-game winning streak to start the season. Here is how cold it is…

-- Michael Nylander is second on the club in scoring (5-12-17). That would be fifth on the Lightning.

-- Nylander is second in goals (five). Thet’d be..yup, fifth on the Lightning.

-- Viktor Kozlov’s nine assists, while second on the Caps, would be sixth on the Lightning (behind the aforementioned Paul Ranger).

-- Brian Pothier leads the Caps at +7…that would be, again, fifth on the Lightning.

And it’s not as if the Lightning have all that spectacular a record. At 9-8-1, they stand seventh in the Eastern Conference. But, they are 7-1-1 at home. Compared to their record at home (2-5-0), the Caps are veritable road warriors (4-6-1), but one would have to say that Tampa is coming into this game holding all the cards…

…well, maybe not. There are two Caps to watch tonight. In 29 career games against Tampa Bay, Michael Nylander is 9-23-32 and has three game-winners. Tomas Fleischmann might have only seven regular season games against the Lightning in his brief career so far, but he’s made them count. He’s 3-3-6, +3, and has a game-winner himself. If the Caps are going to get some offense from others, these might be the places to look.

The Caps beat Ottawa with their eight game winning streak in their own rink, the Caps can beat this team in its rink. And you know what?...they will…

Caps 3 – Lightning 2
* PPI...that's "Peerless Press International"

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