Saturday, October 27, 2007

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!! -- Caps vs. Blues, October 27th

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!!

Tonight the Caps get the St. Louis Blues in The Gateway City, the back end of a back-to-back, home-and-road set. Speaking of “blue,” we caught up with a “Capital” out of the past in getting ready for this game. It is one of the sadder stories in hockey, the tale of a celebrity kicked to the side of the road when his looks faded and the next hot new thing emerged on the scene. Well, let’s let him tell it…

We’re here with someone a lot of older Capitals fans will recognize – one of the biggest celebrities in the history of the franchise, someone who, back in the 1980’s, was known to kids and grown-ups alike. Yes, we have with us, “Winger.” Winger, how have you been?

“How does it look like I’ve been…I’m molting, my looks are gone, I drink too much, and no one knows my face anymore.”

Well, that’s one of those bad runs of luck one has to endure from time to time.

“Yeah, look at you, fancy-schmancy blogger…”

Winger, have you been following the Caps at all?

“I’ll always have a warm place in my heart for the boys. They always treated me right, and I do love the game so.

What do you think of this year’s crop?

“Hard to tell…they haven’t really hit their stride yet. It’s like a car that just can’t quite turn over when you turn the key. But when it does….vr-r-r-r-room!

What’s impressed you most, so far?

“Well, that Ovechkin kid, of course. He’s inching up that scoring ranking – 21st this morning, I think – but there’s more to his game this year…plus-two, I see…and geez, the boy can hit…tied for seventh among forwards in hits and even up among the leaders in blocked shots. Yeah, he’s really become a hockey player.”

You keep pretty close tabs on these guys.

“Yeah, well…what else does a washed-up mascot have to do these days?”

What about the new guys?...Nylander, Poti, Kozlov?

“Fans need to realize, these guys have been brought in here mostly for offense and especially the power play. It’ll take time for that to gel. Those three you mentioned have five of the 21 goals the Caps have scored, and you’d expect them to have a bigger share as the season goes along.”

About that power play…it’s struggled so far. What’s the problem, as you see it?

“Consistency – all the way from the ice to the bench. We’re – look at that, I’m still saying ‘we’ after all these years away – we’re only nine games in, and the Caps only have three players who have had a power play goal. And Ovechkin has half of those. Six-for-43 isn’t going to cut it. But maybe the Caps need to resist the temptation to change things all around. I saw that five-forward thing last night – it actually had a goal. But I read this morning that Coach Hanlon isn’t going to go with it in St. Louis. I do wonder though….what are two guys with world-class wrist shots doing at the point on the power play heaving slap-shot bombs?

Well, Chris Clark won’t play…he took that puck off the side of his head last night.

“Yeah, maybe he needs to skate with a Ridell on his melon when the Caps play in Toronto on Monday…look like Chris Cooley.”

Don’t know if they allow that sort of thing…what about the other side of the special teams – penalty killing.

“Geez, I remember that Kelly Miller kid…smart kid…not flashy, but got the job done. I see a lot of that in Boyd Gordon.”

Yeah, we’ve been singing his praises pretty loud so far, too.

“The Caps have given up 25 goals this year…know how many Gordon has been on the ice for?”

No, I don’t…

“None…

None?

“That’s right…not a single one. And he’s won more than 63 percent of his draws…only three players in the league with more than 75 draws taken are ahead of him”

Bet Yanic Perreault is one of them.

“Gee…small wonder they call you ‘Peerless’…bet you’ll prognosticate that the sun rises in the east tomorrow, too.”

It’s a gift…what about the goalies? Think Brent Johnson will get the start?

“I’d expect so…back end of a back-to-back…on the road…in a city where he played.”

We’re just about out of time, Winger…I hope this isn’t a sensitive subject, but what’s your take on Slapshot?

“Please…don’t get me started. Look at some of my old pics. I look like a cross between Liberace and a Vegas show girl – the feathers and feather-boa look. And my nose looks like you could open a can of tuna with it. You know Slapshot had some nose work done, don’t you?...”

No, I hadn’t heard that…

“And those shoulders…silicone implants…”

Well, that’s all the time we have for our visit with Winger...as for the Caps, they play a thoroughly beatable team tonight, which right now is a guarantee of exactly….nothing, except a Peerless prognostication….

Caps 4 – Blues 3.


"...I hear that prima donna has a personal manicurist, too!"

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