"Lower Body Injury" has nothing on this.

Think the NHL's "lower body injury" description is equal parts vague and mysterious? Hah! Terry Francona, manager of the Boston Red Sox has pushed the envelope of non-descriptive medical issues just that much further . . .

"Red Sox left fielder Manny Ramirez was out of the lineup [for today's game against the Detroit Tigers] with what Francona called 'intestinal turmoil,' but was used as a pinch hitter in the eighth inning after the Tigers gave him antibiotics."

"Intestinal turmoil"

We look forward to that malady in the injury reports to come to a newspaper near you very soon.

But we'll avoid the locker room in which it makes its appearance.