We scribbled this as part of an entry over at Japers' Rink and offer it as some morning light reading. Sort of, how Genesis might have unfolded as a hockey tale...
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be frozen water; and there was frozen water.
And God saw the frozen water, that it was good: and God divided the frozen water from the land. And God called the frozen water "Ice," and the land he called, well…land. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the ice, and let it divide the ice from the ice. And God made the firmament, and divided the ice which was apart from the firmament from the ice which was on the other side of the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament a "hockey rink." And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And God said, Let the ice upon the hockey rink be gathered together unto one place, and let the red and blue lines appear on it: and it was so. And God called the ice in the middle the "neutral zone;" and the gathering together of the ice at either side he called "attacking zones:" and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let the firmament bring forth equipment, CCM yielding skates, and Reebok yielding sticks upon the ice: and it was so. And the firmament brought forth skates and sticks: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the third day.
And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the ends of the ice; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for goals and for periods: And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the ice: and it was so.
And God made two great lights; the red light to signify a goal, and the green light to signify the end of a period: he made the TV timeout light also. And God set them in the ends of the ice to give light upon the hockey rink, And to rule over the ends of the ice, and to divide the periods from the periods: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And God said, Let the heavens bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life upon the open firmament of the hockey rink. And God created Henry and Linda, also called "Staal:" and God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the ice upon the rinks, and let Staals play hockey upon the earth. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And God said, Let Henry and Linda bring forth the living creatures after their kind, Eric, Jordan, Marc, and Jared: and it was so. And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind – pretty much the Philadelphia Flyers: and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let us make a hockey player in our image, after our likeness: and let him have dominion over the creatures on the rink, and over the media in the locker room, and over all the hockey rink, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth – like Daniel Carcillo.
So God created Sidney in his own image, in the image of God created he him. And God blessed him, and God said unto him, Be fruitful, and multiply your goals and assists, and replenish the record book, and subdue it: and skate with the Staals, and have dominion over the players not from Pittsburgh, and over every living thing that moveth upon the locker room.
And God said, Behold, I have given you skates, gloves, Staals galore, which is upon the face of all the hockey rink. And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Thus the heavens and the hockey rink were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made while watching Hockey Night in Canada.
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