It's Never Too Early to Think About... The Draft

With the National Hockey League in lockout/lockdown mode and the league and its players association having been joined by a mediator to help push the process along, it is just about time to bid hope for a 2012-2013 – or rather a “2013” – NHL season goodbye and start focusing on the NHL draft to be held…well, whenever.  And that brings us to the rules that will govern the lottery to determine the number of ping pong balls each team will received in the lottery to come.  Sort of the NHL’s version of Powerball… “Puckyball,” if you will.

Let us recall the rules that governed the last lottery back in 2005, the “Sidney Crosby Sweepstakes:”

1.  All 30 NHL teams start with three ping pong balls.

2.  For every playoff appearance in the previous three seasons, a team loses one ball.  Teams left with three balls:

Buffalo Sabres

Columbus Blue Jackets

New York Rangers

Pittsburgh Penguins

Atlanta Thrashers

Florida Panthers

3.  Teams with a number one overall draft pick in any of the previous four years lose one ball.  Since Atlanta and Florida had number one draft picks in that window (Atlanta picked Ilya Kovalchuk in 2001, and Florida had the number one overall pick in 2003 but traded it to Pittsburgh), they dropped out, leaving four teams with three balls:

Buffalo Sabres

Columbus Blue Jackets

New York Rangers

Pittsburgh Penguins

Of course, every thoughtful hockey fan knows that the league and Buffalo had a deal for the Sabres to host the first Winter Classic in exchange for their balls being “lost” before they went into the tumbler for selection.  And please, who takes Columbus being in that group seriously?

So, miracles of miracles, the two teams with the only legitimate chance of getting the rights to speak the words “Sidney Crosby” at the top of the 2005 draft were the league’s biggest market and its favorite pet of a team.  It was a win-win for the league!

It begs the question, what machinations will be involved to rig the Puckyball rules to get to the result the league wants this time?  Well, our special ops forces at Peerless Central managed to obtain the secret documents that set forth the rules that will govern the 2013 draft lottery…

Step 1… All 30 teams start with three ping pong balls

Step 2… Teams lose a ping pong ball for each playoff appearance in the last three years to a maximum of two balls lost (to ensure that every team still has one ball).

Remaining teams with three balls…

Carolina

NY Islanders

Toronto

Winnipeg

Calgary

Dallas

Minnesota

Columbus

Edmonton

Step 3… Teams lose a ping pong ball for each top overall pick in the last four years to a maximum of two, but in no case shall any team be left with no ping pong balls.

Remaining teams with three balls…

Carolina

Toronto

Winnipeg

Calgary

Dallas

Minnesota

Columbus

Step 4… Each team having been selected to host a draft in any year since the “schedule interruption” of 2004-2005 will lose a ping pong ball.

Remaining teams with three balls…

Carolina

Toronto

Winnipeg

Calgary

Dallas

Step 5… Each team having hosted an NHL all-star game in any year since the “schedule interruption” of 2004-2005 will lose a ping pong ball (and just because you moved, don’t think you get a pass… Winniplanta).

Remaining teams with three balls…

Toronto

Calgary

Step 6… Each team whose arena was renamed since the “schedule interruption” of 2004-2005 will lose a ping pong ball.

Remaining teams with three balls…

Toronto

Step 7… Teams having replaced their coach at least once last season will lose a ping pong ball for every time the coach was replaced.

Remaining teams with three ping pong balls…

None

(oops...)

Step 8… Each team having opened a new arena in any of the past three seasons will have all ping pong balls lost restored for their contributions to the game.

Teams with three ping pong balls:

And there you have it.  The Pittsburgh Penguins will be the team with the best chance of landing a Nathan MacKinnon or a Seth Jones in next June’s NHL entry draft, should the 2012-2013 season be cancelled.  You will find no more deserving team in the 412 area code.  Well, no more deserving NHL hockey team in the 412 area code... maybe.

For the rest of you, there is the chance of drafting the next Alex Bourret or Sasha Pokulok.  Good luck.