We find ourselves walking through the rubble this morning,
the National Hockey League and its Players Association having nuked
negotiations last evening. As we stagger
through the dust this morning, we are left to answer a question in the quiet of
our own thoughts, “what…what can we do now?”
As always, one man stands alone as an answer to our prayers
for hockey. A man of vast wealth, star
power, and great hair.
Yes, Donald Trump.
What professional hockey needs now, now that the league and its union
have settled the matter of whether then can play nice, is someone to turn our
glum to glitter, our melancholy to a mélange of bright lights and gaudy
uniforms. I propose to you…
The Trump Hockey League
Think of it. There
are a lot of cities out there with the size and perhaps the arena availability
to make this work. There could be 12
teams in two divisions…
Think of it… hockey on the rink, casinos in the
concourses. Not a “red light” to signal
a goal, but explosions! Fireworks! Pulsating lights! Referees, not in striped shirts with orange
arm bands, but the full day-glo orange ensemble. Goalies with pads that flash when a puck hits
them. Not the home team logo on every game
puck, but a picture of The Donald, Commissioner and Grand Poobah of the THL.
Enough of this old school, staid hockey in the NHL. Enough of the constant bickering between
owners and players. Play the game with
style, with panache, with the sort of production it deserves, for the best fans
on earth.
Donald Trump, your time has come. Hockey needs you.
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