Sunday, December 09, 2007

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!! -- Caps vs. Devils, December 10th

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!!

Well, it’s rematch night in DC as the Caps host the New Jersey Devils, who eked out a 3-2 win in Newark last Friday. See’n how the Devils are moseyin’ on down below the Mason-Dixon line, we thought we’d offer up a heapin’ helpin’ of some southern – well, southern Canadian – hospitality, courtesy of the Blue Collar Hockey Boys…


Jeff…I understand you have some thoughts on hockey fans…

“If you don’t bother to black out a tooth when you dress up as a hockey player for Hallowe’en and just knock that sucker out…youu-u-u-u-u might be a hockey fan…”

“If the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word, “Bauer” is that you need a new pair of skates instead of the character on the TV show ‘24’…youu-u-u-u-u might be a hockey fan.”

And Larry the Skate Sharpener Guy, what do you have to say?...

“Shoot’r in.”

Uh…yeah. Bill, you have a theory on stupid hockey fans?...

“Well, I just hate stupid hockey fans. They should have to serve two minutes just for being stupid…like a fan penalty box. That way you wouldn't rely on them for any hockey smarts, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, ‘Excuse me...oops, never mind; I didn't see you in the penalty box’…I was at the game the other night, and a Cap had the puck down in the corner with his back to the play…and this fan with that neon orange nacho cheese dripping on his shirt yells out, “SHOOOOOOOOT!”…I’d just point at him and say, ‘two minutes for being stoopid.'"

Ron, you had to come in later then the other boys, is that right?

“Yeah, well…I got thrown out of a bar in Toronto. Now when I say I got thrown out of a bar, I don’t mean somebody asked me to leave, we walked to the door together, and I said ‘bye everybody, I gotta go’…six bouncers hurled me out of a sports bar like I was a hockey puck…for wearin’ a hat, and this guy real pissy goes, ‘take off the hat!’…I go, ‘what’s the deal,’ and he says, ‘I’ll tell you what the deal is, eh?...Montreal fans in the neighborhood wear hats, and we’re trying to keep them out of our bar.’ And I said, ‘oh really…the only way we can tell in Ottawa is if they have their hair cut like…yours.’…And he got all pissed. But he walked away, and I took the hat off, but an hour later I put the hat back on, and the guy came back over. Now, I’m between 185 and 195 centimeters tall, depending on which Tim Horton’s I’m leaving…but the guy comes over pokin’ two fingers in my shoulder saying, ‘you’re out of here.’ And I said, ‘I don’t think so, Scooter’…and I was wrong…they hurled me out of that bar and squared off with me in the parking lot…well I backed down from the fight, because…I didn’t know how many of them it would have taken to kick may ass…but I knew how many they were going to use. Well, they called the police because we broke a chair on my way out, and I refused to pay for it…I refused to pay for it, because we broke it over my thigh. The cop showed up and said, ‘Sir, you are being charged with being drunk…in…pub-lick’…and I went ‘hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey …I was drunk in a bar…they threw me into pub-lick…I don’t wanna be drunk in public, I want to be drunk in a bar, which is perfectly legal…arrest them. Well, they called in for my arrest record…ther-r-r-r-r-re’s some good news…satellites are linkin’ up in outer space…computer banks are kickin’ on…which brings me to this story…ten years ago, I was arrested for being drunk…in…pub-lick…there seems to be pattern here…on the drunk in public charge, the arresting officer – who I’d literally known all my life – this guy lived four doors down from me in a town with one midget hockey team…we’ve met. He asks me if I have any aliases…and I was just bein’ a smart ass and said, ‘yeah…they call me…’Back Bacon.’ I have twin boys, Dougie and Brendan…I call them ‘Bacon Bits.’”

Quite a story, Ron…

So, it’s the Devils again, and they are now on a ten-game points-earned streak, having lost last night, 1-0, in overtime to the Rangers at Madison Square Garden. Martin Brodeur played well in the “loss,” but the Jersey offense was borderline inept, which makes them once more ripe for the plucking. Since it’s only been a couple of days since the last game against these guys, you can go here for the breakdown. It really hasn’t changed much.

As for the Caps, fans got a rare glimpse of what this team is capable of in their 6-3 win over Atlanta on Saturday. One of the keys there was keeping the big guns for the other guys quiet – Ilya Kovalchuk and Marian Hossa combined for a pair of inconsequential assists. But what this team has lacked all year, that they got on Saturday, was scoring support from guys not named “Ovechkin.” Alex Ovechkin had a goal and an assist, but the Caps had five goals and 12 points from the rest of the club. Matt Pettinger had his first goal in more than a month…Mike Green had a pair of goals (it is revealing as to the club’s performance when Green is tied for second on the club in goals scored). Even Jeff Schultz chipped in a goal. These guys don’t have to score every night – they won’t. But the Caps need to get some finish from the second and third line guys or the defensemen on a more regular basis than they have been.

This might be a good point to look at where the club is eight games into the Boudreau era (and let’s hope it’s an “era”)…

Record: 4-3-1

Goals for/against: 24/20

Power play: 6/32 (18.8%)

Penalty kill: 32/36 (88.9%)

It might not be a coincidence that Mike Green has four of his seven goals in the last eight games, either. In fact, six of the 24 goals scored have come from defensemen (Pothier and Schultz being the others.

That 4-3-1 record might not look like much, but it is a 92-point pace over an 82-game season. That’s little consolation at the moment, since the Caps are the last team to ten wins, but it is an improvement. For the Caps to take the next step, though, some other folks are going to have to step up, too. On that note, now that Matt Pettinger has ended his 16-game streak without a goal, folks might be looking at Viktor Kozlov (13 games) and Tomas Fleischmann (11 games) to warm up and light the lamp. This is not to say that this pair has played poorly of late – both had an assist against Atlanta on Saturday and were a combined +3 – but getting some contributions in goal scoring from these guys and others will take the pressure off Alex Ovechkin..while it’s nice that Ovechkin has 21 goals, his having 30 percent of the team’s total is not.

It probably won’t take a lot of goals to win tonight’s game – this is likely to be a low scoring affair. The question is whether Marty Brodeur gets another start the day after an overtime loss, or if Kevin Weekes gets the nod for the Devils. No matter, the Caps – except for the stinker against these Devils on Friday – have looked better of late.

Caps 2 – Devils 1.

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