The Peerless Pops In . . .

Well, The Peerless has been away tending to non-Peerlessian responsibilities, and he wonders, “what did he miss?”

Well, The Peerless is wondering where The Mouth That Roared is in the Ranger-Sabres series. Sean Avery, who remarked on the Sabres that, “"I'm going to hurt them, I'm going to hit them, I'm going to be in their face as much as I can," has six shots, four penalty minutes, and no points in an average of 18 minutes in the first two games. He does have seven hits, but the Sabres have two wins. Buffalo will take that trade.

And speaking of Buffalo . . . 13 different players have assisted on the Sabres’ eight goals thus far in this series; six players have scored the eight goals. This team spreads better than soft butter.

Vancouver shook off the cobwebs in Game 1 to escape Southern California with a split, courtesy of a double overtime 2-1 win. That’s four overtime games and eight overtime periods played by the Canucks in nine playoff games. Anaheim has played only this double-overtime game among the seven games it’s played thus far. And, they have fresher goaltending, with Ilya Bryzgalov and Jean-Sebastien Giguere splitting the total minutes in the playoffs roughly evenly (Roberto Luongo already has played almost 650 minutes). Can the Canucks last through a long series?

In seven games, Martin Brodeur has given up three or more goals five times. His 2.65, .902 numbers pale in comparison to his career 1.92, .920. And, eight of the 19 total goals he’s yielded have been scored in the first period. In five of the seven games he’s played, he has given up a goal in the first . . . very un-Brodeuresque.

Ottawa is dancin’ with who brung ‘em . . . Dany Heatley, Daniel Alfredsson, and Jason Spezza are a combined 9-10-19 in six games. They’ll need it. Ray Emery, while he has hardly played poorly, has the second worst GAA among surviving goaltenders and the worst save percentage.

Free agent watch . . .

Scott Gomez: 7 games, 2-9-11, +6, 52.8% FO
Chris Drury: 7 games, 5-2-7, +3, 52.2% FO
Daniel Briere: 7 games, 1-5-6, +3, 50.5% FO
Dainius Zubrus: 7 games, 0-6-6, even
Brian Rafalski: 7 games, 2-6-8, +1
Scott Hannan: 6 games, 0-2-2, +4
Craig Rivet: 6 games, 2-3-5, -3

Vancouver doesn’t score much (16 goals in nine games), but they spread it around – seven players have two goals.

You’d expect, given the nature of the competition and the small number of games thus far, that the clubs that moved on were best in scoring and scoring defense. Well, Vancouver is the only club left in the playoffs not in the top eight in scoring. New Jersey – yes, that New Jersey – is the only one not in the top eight in scoring defense.

Joe Thornton leads the Sharks in scoring . . . without the benefit of a goal (0-7-7 in six games). That’s ok, Milan Mihalek doesn’t have an assist (but he has four of San Jose’s 18 goals). The question is, “where’s Cheechoo?” No goals in six games so far. Is the abuse he took in the first game of the tournament taking a toll?

Pavel Datsyuk . . . 1-2-3, +3 in the first two games of the tournament, 1-1-2, -2 in the five games since. He still leads the Red Wings in goals (3). Johan Franzen seems to be making the most of his somewhat limited opportunities – 2-3-5, +6, in an average of 16 minutes a night.

Two series in the second round have completed their second game. Why does The Peerless think that the Buffalo-Ranger series (now 2-0 in the Sabres’ favor) is closer than the Ducks-‘Nucks series (currently tied at one-apiece)?

The Peerless wonders . . .

- Is anyone really watching the Sharks-Red Wings series? Is this the “forgotten” series of the second round?

- How do John Madden, Sergei Brylin and Jay Pandolfo get to a combined -17 in seven games for the Devils? Those three are the worst plus-minus of any players left playing.

- How many folks in Vegas would have picked “Andy McDonald” as the leader in power play goals?

- If Francois Beauchemin is the biggest bargain in the NHL? . . . he’s third in average ice time in the playoffs, is 2-1-3, +2 so far (playing more minutes than Scott Niedermayer), was 7-21-28, +7 in 71 regular season games . . . all for $500,000. By way of comparison for you Caps fans, Brian Pothier also had 28 points, was -11, and is not playing at the moment . . . for $2.5 million.

- If anyone realizes that Dainius Zubrus is tied for third in assists in the playoffs?

- If a “Hossa” had a line of 2-1-3, +5 in six games, that anyone would have picked Marcel to have it, not Marian (0-1-1, -6, in a four game sweep)?

- If John Oduya and Nathan Paetsch regret not having made the big club in DC? . . . for the record, The Peerless wouldn’t have kept either one, either.

- If Richard Matvichuk has titanium for shin bones?….25 blocked shots in five games.

- If anyone really . . . really misses the shootout about now.

The Peerless Brings You . . . The Conference Semifinal Prognsotications

In spite of some balky connectivity with his provider, The Peerless brings you the last word (well, until he goes to bed) word on the second round prognostications . . .

Eastern Semifinals --

Buffalo Sabres (1) – New York Rangers (6)

Season Series: Buffalo: 4-0-0/New York: 1-0-3

Series Theme: “Head-On…Apply Directly to the Forehead”

Fun Fact: No team scored more against the Rangers than did the Sabres (4.25 goals per game).

This is a difficult series to handicap. Buffalo won all four previous meetings, but this series was over on December 1^st. And, Henrik Lundqvist has been lights out in the Ranger net after the New Year (26-11-6, including the sweep of Atlanta). In the opening round, Lundqvist was hardly the goaltender he was as the migraine-suffering sieve that went quick and quiet last spring. There is a temptation to pick the Rangers based on the sweep of the Thrashers and the fact that the Sabres skipped a beat in the Islander series. That’d be a fool’s errand. Buffalo is the most consistent, balanced club left. They had eight players with more than 50 points, ten players with 20 or more goals (both include Dainius Zubrus). And if one looks at their ten-games splits:

10-0-0
6-3-1
7-2-1
6-3-1
4-5-1
7-2-1
5-4-1
7-2-1
1-1-0

…one sees a club that plays with a considerable efficiency and consistency.

Buffalo in six.

New Jersey Devils (2) – Ottawa Senators (4)

Season Series: Ottawa: 1-2-1/New Jersey: 3-0-1

Series Theme: “Irresistible Force?...Meet immovable object.”

Fun Fact: New Jersey was more successful during the regular season at holding a lead after two periods than any team remaining in this tournament (.912 winning percentage).

Except for the first game – an 8-1 blowout win for the Senators – each of the games in the season series was decided by one goal. Ottawa put an end to the idea of Pittsburgh being ready for prime time, but now they face as different a team as can be. New Jersey was 27^th in scoring this year. Trouble for Ottawa is, the Devils were tied for third in scoring defense. And, the Devils are a very patient club. They might not merit quite the somnambulistic reputation they have in many quarters, but they won’t remind anyone of Pittsburgh, either. For Ottawa – a team with more than a little playoff experience – the issue will be how they deal with the change of pace.

On the other side, Martin Brodeur had an odd – for him – season. Over a four month period, beginning with December, his GAA rose in each succeeding month (1.69 – 1.80 – 2.22 – 2.92). At the beginning of April, it looked like the light went on – he gave up only four goals in his last three regular season games – but then he gave up three goals in four successive games to open the Tampa Bay series. Brodeur closed out the series with a shutout and a two-goals-yielded performance, but there is the uncommon issue of Brodeur’s consistency as this series opens. Nevertheless, tie goes to the defense, and the Devils are better, front to back.

New Jersey in seven.

Western Semifinals --

Detroit Red Wings (1) – San Jose Sharks (5)

Season Series: Detroit: 1-3-0/San Jose: 3-1-0

Series Theme: “Gen-X versus Gen-Ex-Lax”

Fun Fact: San Jose scored 18 goals in four games against the Wings. Only Nashville scored more (21), but they did it in twice as many games.

The six defensemen San Jose started in their series-clinching win against Nashville average less than 25 years of age. Chris Chelios has corns that are older. Of the 12 forwards who dressed for that game, only three are older than 28. On the other hand, in the series clincher against Calgary, Detroit dressed only three forwards younger than 28, and their defensemen have an average age older than 33 (take 21-year old Kyle Quincy out of the mix, and you have to use carbon dating to get a more accurate age reading).

But here is something to watch…Nashville allowed San Jose 32.6 shots per game in their series. Detroit allowed Calgary 21.5 shots per game. Detroit has enough experience to take advantage of San Jose’s youth in a high pressure situation to play the kind of puck possession game that will relieve pressure on their defense and the ancient Dominik Hasek in goal.

Detroit in six.

Anaheim Ducks (2) – Vancouver Canucks (3)

Season Series: Anaheim: 3-0-1/Vancouver: 1-3-0

Series Theme: “Hey, we might still be playing when you wake up out east”

Fun Fact: Anaheim led the NHL with 71 fighting majors; Vancouver was 21^st with 27. Anaheim led the NHL in penalty minutes, but if the fighting majors are accounted for, the penalty minute totals are virtually equal (Anaheim has more, 1,097 to 1,071).

This is another of those difficult series to figure. The clubs split a pair of games after New Years (Vancouver winning in overtime), but since the start of the year, Vancouver goalie Roberto Luongo is 31-10-5 (including the 4-3 record in the opening round against Dallas). Only 16 times in his last 46 games has Luongo given up more than two goals in a game. The thing is, though, Luongo is 0-3-0 against Anaheim this year. Against the Ducks he has, by far, his worst goals-against average and save percentage against any club.

The problem for Vancouver is that they are an offensively-challenged club. They were 22^nd in the league in scoring (Anaheim was ninth). It carried into the playoffs, where the Canucks were shutout three times and scored a total of eight goals in the last six games (two of them empty netters). And, the two clubs are virtually tied in scoring defense (Vancouver at 2.40/game, Anaheim at 2.42/game).

Neither Jean-Sebastien Giguere nor Ilya Bryzgalov are likely to put up the goose eggs Marty Turco laid on Vancouver, but it doesn’t seem likely Vancouver will be able to muster much more of an offense than they showed in the first round. And, Anaheim will score more than the absent Dallas offense did in the first round. Luongo seems likely to steal a game or two, but not four.

Anaheim in six.

C'mon....you know you'd love to do this...

Game o' the Day

If you are a fan of goaltenders, and The Peerless certainly is, then tonight's Vancouver - Dallas game will be right up your alley.

Eric McErlain describes the Turco/Luongo war in detail over at The Fanhouse, but The Peerless notes two subtle things to look for in the duel. First, the first to score wins. That's not exactly a bulletin in a series marked by four straight games with fewer than three total goals scored. But the fact is, in four of the five games, first to score wins. Second, watch the pattern of goals. So far, Roberto Luongo has given up, by period: 2-3-3-1 goals. Marty Turco: 1-2-4-2. The differences are not significant, but Luongo has been just the slighest bit more effective (or, just as reasonably, Dallas has been less effective offensively) late.

Wait a minute, Peerless . . . hold on with that last one. You might want to look at those numbers more closely.

Well, by Sawchuk, you have a point . . . if you compare thse two and their save percentages by period . . .

1st period: Luongo: .959/Turco: .979
2nd period: Luongo: .944/Turco: .951
3rd period: Luongo: .923/Turco: .922

In regulation, Turco has been the more efficient -- ever so slightly -- of the two (.950 to .944 overall). That Vancouver has a lead in this series is a product of having scored two goals in overtime to one for Dallas. It is the only difference in the goaltending worth noting.

This really is, as Eric put it, "a showdown for the ages."

Western Union...

Hey, if a lion is sleeping, do you walk up to it and poke it with a stick?

Oh, sorry…Tampa was “sending a message” at the end of the game last night in New Jersey.

Down 2-0 with the clock winding under two minutes to go, and the net empty, the Lighting watched as Scott Gomez scored an empty-net goal. Then, the fun started.

It wasn’t an especially chippy game as these things go, with clubs getting more familiar (and annoyed) with each other in a playoff series – a total of six minor penalties had been called in the game. Then, with Andre Roy trying to start something, anything, to “send the message,” he ended up scrapping with Michael Rupp. Roy got a game misconduct added for his trouble (maybe the league will send him a message).

The boys weren’t done yet sending their message. Nolan Pratt and Jamie Langenbrunner added to their scoresheet entries with a fighting major apiece. Ryan Craig got a roughing and a misconduct. The officials evened up the latter with a misconduct to Erik Rasmussen. But by that time, the message had been sent. Ooops…maybe not. Devil assistant John MacLean and Lighting coach John Tortorella engaged in a wonderful one act play in mime, making a series of menacing gestures at one another. Lou Lamoriello looked on with a beatific expression on his face – if your idea of “beatific” is this guy…

Who, come to think of it, sorta looks like Lou, just with more hair...

OK, Jersey had a message for the Lightning, too. We’re done with the preliminaries. In what amounted to the first in a best-of-three, Martin Brodeur showed up. 31 shots faced, 31 shots turned away. How's that for a message?

One had the feeling watching what unfolded in the last two minutes of the game that Tampa was less “sending a message” than expressing a very large measure of frustration. Trouble is, you poke the lion with that stick the consequences are not likely to be pleasant.

And speaking of messages . . . what was the one sent to Ruslan Fedotenko? He was given a sweater and a seat on the bench. That was the extent of his participation, having logged a conspicuous 0:00 in ice time. The message might be, “wise up, Ruslan,” but The Peerless thinks it really is, “I’m just a big honking asshole.”

The teams go again, tomorrow. The Peerless will be surprised if the game finishes with Tampa within three goals of Jersey.

Welcome to the club...

Islanders defenceman Sean Hill was hit with a 20-game suspension by the NHL on Friday - just hours before New York was eliminated from the playoffs - for violating the league's performance-enhancing substances program.

That was the lede in a wire story report on the news of the suspension of Sean Hill for violation of the league's "performance enhancing" substances program.

The Peerless is wondering -- as he is sure others are -- who's performance was enhanced as a result? Surely not the Islanders, who lost that elimination game after falling into a 3-0 hole half-way through the contest. And one would think that if Hill wasn't dressed, he'd have no performance to "enhance." It didn't help Drew Fata, the unfortunate replacement for Hill, who was a minus-2 in his six minutes of effort.

Well, maybe the enhancement provided just enough enhancement to his performance to permit the Islanders, who won their last four games to sneak into the eighth spot in the East (although Hill was a -1 combined in those four games, with no points, in averaging more than 18-and-a-half minutes a game).

The nature of the violation was not disclosed, but whatever...Hill is the first player suspended under the league's program. His 20-game suspension will carry into next year, but as the wire stories report, where that will be is uncertain. He is an unrestricted free agent.

A 36-year-old defenseman with 19 games of a suspension to serve. Will there be takers?

We're betting there will be, and that'll be a first, too.

Congratulations, NHL. Welcome to the club...you're an official modern professional sports league.

The Peerless is on the air . . . LIVE!

The Peerless is coming to you live, from his family room, prognosticommentating on this evening's Ottawa - Pittsburgh contest . . .

7:00...Ottawa doesn't want the series to go any further. Now that's analysis. Right outta the gate, at that! Way to go, Andy.

7:02...meanwhile, "the greatest onus will fall on Sidney Crosby." Looks like Joe doesn't want to be outdone.

7:05...The Peerless wonders, does anyone actually buy a Bowflex TreadClimber, and do they use it as a clothes hanger?

7:07...Keith's right, Fleury has to be the difference. Nothing gives a team confidence like a goalie coming up big in their end.

7:10...time for the drop of the puck, and we've only heard Crosby's name twice?

7:11...Ottawa gets the first big chance. Alfredsson missed from in close...beautiful eye-hand stopping the puck and trying to bat it out of air.

7:13...penalty...penalty...5-on-3 for the Penguins.

7:14...Emery hangs on, Crosby issues his first whine.

7:16...another delay of game to Ottawa. The game could rest in the balance right here...and Emery is sharp early.

7:19...Crowd is into it, now...the penalties are killed

7:20...Pittsburgh is skating with their heads up, looking for Senators...and now another penalty, this one to Pittsburgh -- Orpik.

7:22...Ottawa doesn't have a shot and has killed three penalties. They score on this PP, it'll be a deflator for the Penguins.

7:25...excellent kill by Pittsburgh, didn't give Ottawa any time or space to collect the puck and make a play.

7:27...the teams seem to be settling into a rhythm. Ottawa still doesn't have a shot on goal, but they're starting to get looks -- a lot of pucks riccocheting in front of Fleury.

7:30...looks like Roberts is looking to start something...went high on Comrie and another Senator in the neutral zone.

7:33...nice play by Redden...played the reach on Staal, not the body. He took away any attack angle.

7:35...uh, question...did Malkin dress for this game?

7:38...Pittsburgh doing a good job getting sticks in the shooting and passing channels. Nothing is getting through to Fleury.

7:44...taking a penalty in the last minute...Orpik again.

7:46....and there's the horn...0-0 after one.

7:48...fun number: "2"...Pittsburgh had two shots on goal in the last 15:34 of the period. Deceptive number: "5"...Crosby had five of the Penguins' nine shots, but three of those came in a 27 second span four minutes in. Big number: "4:32"...the Senators were shorthanded for 4:22 of the first 5:32 of the game and did not yield a goal.

7:54...meanwhile, Kyle Wilson ties the Hershey game against Albany. This is a little too competitive for comfort in the first round.

8:03...the second starts, Ottawa on the PP...

8:05.....Alfie with a sweet from-behind-the-net pass to Heatley for the score, Ottawa draws first blood....and Fleury makes a big stop on Kelly on the next shift. Penguins need to settle down a bit.

8:07...FLURRRR-EEEE...FLURRRR-EEEEE . . . and the kid accommodates...another big save. Fisher is not a happy guy.

8:10....Volchenkov goes off...two minutes for falling on Crosby.

8:12....welcome to the game, Geno....about time.

8:13....and there goes Vermette...dinky-doo, and in, while he's being hauled down from behind...2-0.

8:14...the momentum has certainly shifted....Pittsburgh goes to the box -- Ouellet. A PP goal here, and we're just about done.

8:19....yeesh, now that was an ugly power play.

8:25...Malkin seen ordering a dog with chili and mustard on the concourse.

8:27...and speaking of MIA, where's Colby Armstrong?

8:29...Roberts tried to hit Fisher from behind. Roberts bounced off him and onto his own bee-hind...fans chanting RAHHH-berts...RAHHH-berts...

8:36....Ottawa is wearing them down..they're winning races to the puck and battles along the boards....and it pays off -- Kelly jams it home...Scuderi got tangled up with Fleury, and Kelly had an empty net to shoot at...3-0

8:38....Comrie in alone, beats Fleury clean -- CLANG!....off the far post.

8:40...end of two...standing-O for the home team...and whose name was conspicuously not mentioned in this period?...Sidney Crosby.

8:41...fun number: "25" -- Ottawa is outhitting Pittsburgh, 25-13 through two periods. It's taking a toll. Funner number: "8" -- Pittsburgh has eight shots total in the last 35:34. Funnest number: "1" -- the combined shots on goal in the second for Crosby, Malkin, and Staal.

8:46...The Peerless has one ear tuned to the Hershey feed...2-1, Bears, the third period just underway.

8:50...Fluery needed to be great. He's been good...that's why the Penguins are down 3-0. "Good" ain't gonna cut it in April.

8:53...a commercial for something called, "The Slice Bullet" -- some contraption to eliminate a slice from your golf shot. $29.95, plus shipping and handling. My God, IT'S A HOCKEY PUCK WITH A STRING ON IT!!!

8:58...Volchenkov, closing his hand on the puck....two minutes. Why does The Peerless think that won't be the last time we see McCreary make a call?

9:02...Ottawa, too many men...uh, yup, they got caught...

9:04...why is it that Michel Therrien always looks like he's posing for a statue in the town square when he's behind the bench?

9:05...Malkin took a shot....it didn't get through, but at least it's a sign of life.

9:07...delayed penalty to Pittsburgh....and a penalty to Ottawa on the same shift...goaltender interference to Ottawa?....uh, ok.

9:11...Alfie almost stuck the dagger in...still, Ottawa is making Pittsburgh skate 200 feet every time down the ice -- they're getting the puck in deep, working the clock.

9:13...Ottawa will play catch with the puck behind the Penguin net for the rest of the night if Pittsburgh is going to let them...

9:17...looking at the shift chart, Crosby and Gonchar have missed about three minutes of time in the first 11 minutes of the period.

9:18...Volchenkov hit by Roberts....Volchenkov absent from the Senator bench...he was holding his arm to his side when he came off...looked like a shoulder injury.

9:21...the Penguin bench looks devoid of life...

9:24...Senator fans are singing...winding down to four minutes....Pittsburgh will need to think about lifting Fleury...and there is Emery to shut the door again. Fleury hasn't been bad, but Emery is the better goalie on this ice tonight. Right now, he should get the game's first star for his work during all that Penguin PP time in the first.

9:30...and now, it's handshake time....3-0.



Numbers....

- Pittsburgh had 13 shots in the last 55:34.
- Ottawa killed the last 15 shorthanded situations they faced in the series.
- Pittsburgh had only 10 of 18 skaters register a shot on goal; only four managed more than one shot (Malone, Gonchar, Malkin, Crosby)
- Therrien drastically shortened his bench in the third -- Laraque: 2 shifts, Armstrong: 4 shifts, Christensen: 5 shifts, Talbot: 5 shifts, Ouellet: 2 shifts
- Crosby looks to have played about 12 minutes of the third period.
- Ryan Whitney had 8:37 of power play time and did not register a shot...he had no shots at all for the game.
- Chris Phillips had a whale of a game...26:35 of ice time (four minutes more than any other Senator), six hits, five blocked shots, and not a single turnover.
- Anton Volchenkov probably would have had Phillips' numbers but for the short stint shaking off his injury at the hands of Roberts. As it was, he still had 22:36 in ice time, three hits, five blocked shots, and no turnovers (makes the two minors he took easier to take).

Some observations on a Tuesday night...

- How long (in seconds) will it take the Thrashers to clear out everyone down to the equipment guy after looking for all the world like a kennel of whipped puppies in their series against the Rangers, once the Blueshirts put them out of their misery.

- Speaking of Atlanta, Marian Hossa's picture is on milk cartons all over the Atlanta area.

- The Peerless is looking for a reason in the numbers why Ottawa has a three-games-to-one lead after tonight’s win in Pittsburgh. The only thing he can figure out . . . Ottawa’s just better.

- Minnesota has the ugliest uniforms in the history of man . . . looks like they’re channeling the 1987 New Jersey Devils. They look like they were designed by Helen Keller on crack.

- Speaking of Minnesota, Derek Boogaard is a very large man. Men that large should not be able to stand on skates. I swear, he has his own gravitational field.

- Hey, it ain’t Marty’s fault (Turco or Brodeur).

- If anyone thought Jay Pandolfo, Sergei Brylin, Brian Gionta, and John Madden would be a combined -12 for the Devils, raise your hand.

- Ladies and gentlemen, your leading scorer for the Buffalo Sabres (so far)...Dainius Zubrus

- San Jose/Nashville is still the best series of the first round.

- Willie Mitchell will not get a holiday greeting from Mike Ribiero.

- Buffalo will move on to the second round, but they’ll pay to get there.

- Joe Beninati is really, really good on play-by-play. The Peerless could listen to him do every game.

- Uh, when Pittsburgh is eliminated, how on earth will the NHL and their U.S. television partners at NBC and Versus market the games? Come watch Daniel Briere spear somebody? Watch Chris Chelios grow liver spots? Pick out the Niedermayer? The Sedin?

- Is that wall of red in the stands in Calgary impressive, or what? If you don't think so, go watch "Dancing with the Stars."

In defense of the early morning...

Thanks to frasnap on The Official, The Peerless had a chance to read this essay from The Sporting News’ Kara Yorio . . . here is the money quote:

“If the shootout is a good enough way to decide how teams get into the playoffs, then it should be a good enough way to decide who wins the games once they're there -- after teams have been given a long enough chance to finish things off with that ‘real hockey.’

“Asking these players to play beyond two overtimes is unfair, unhealthy, mentally and physically exhausting and detrimental to the quality of hockey that comes in later games.”

To be charitable, The Peerless disagrees. If he wasn’t charitable, he might say something like this . . .

Really?...

Unfair to whom? The fan? I'm guessing no, since OT games are often the stuff of legend that endures in hockey conversations. The players? Well, no -- on two counts. First, it is not unfair to the opponents within the series, since each has to endure the overtime. And for anyone who wants to argue that it puts an advancing club at a disadvantage for the next round, then how do you explain away the advantage a club gets by closing out a series early? If we are to "even the ice," so to speak, should we not require the club that sweeps a series to keep playing, so as to maintain an even level of effort expended?

Unhealthy? These are some of the most well-conditioned athletes on the planet (I'd argue hockey requires more conditioning, and a wider range of athletic skill, than just about any other team sport). And, how many players have suffered season-ending or career threatening injuries as a result of a long overtime session? Take your time; we’ll wait while you Google that question.

Detrimental to the quality of hockey that comes in later games? We'll stipulate that if this was to occur in a game 7, the winning club might face a disadvantage in the first game of the ensuing series -- a product of the previous game's effort and focus. But that is: a) one game (where is the effect demonstrated in later games?), and b) it's a part of the obstacle course. It is this odyssey in an effort to win 16 games – including the odd 100-plus-minute game – that makes hockey, “hockey.”

The argument -- "Protect the players. Value the hockey. End the endurance test (as she puts it) -- is just so much nonsense on its face....but The Peerless is arguing against a tsunami. Within five years, we’ll wager, there will be a shootout following one full 20-minute overtime period in all but games 7 of series. And it will have nothing whatsoever to do with "protecting the players."

At that point, I'll rather watch poker.

Bright Shiny Toys

The Peerless is in a really, really bad mood today. Maybe it's a product of watching 16 other teams having a good time. This little piece of it has been brewing for a couple of days now. The issue -- a "Caps-themed browser." Here is the story:

The Washington Capitals have partnered with Brand Thunder, a leader in computer browser branding, to create the first team-branded Internet browser in professional sports.

The customized Firefox theme allows fans to stay informed on the most up-to-date Capitals’ news no matter what website they are visiting. Once the browser theme is downloaded to a fan’s computer, the program transforms the average browser into a Capitals-themed experience. Additionally, there is an interactive toolbar that allows fans to purchase tickets, check out the Caps upcoming schedule and keep tabs on their favorite player by visiting the team roster. There is also a news scroll that keeps fans informed of recent Caps happenings.

“Brand Thunder’s customized theme helps our fans show their love of the Caps while keeping them informed with the latest Caps news,” said Sean Parker, the Capitals’ director of new media. “We are extremely pleased to be the first professional sports team to have a customized browser.”

“It extends the brand by using a fresh, innovative and effective channel,” said Patrick Murphy, CEO of Brand Thunder. “Themes offer passionate users another avenue to display their affinity while facilitating more frequent and focused communication to consumers.”

The display is simple and easy for fans to use and gives them the chance to stay on top of what is happening with the team, while working or relaxing on the Internet.

Well, gee...let's make sure we "transform the average browser into a Capitals-themed experience," because the experience at the rink sure hasn't been a lot to get excited about the last three seasons.

The Peerless is really, really tired of the gimmicky crap that surrounds this team. Anyone remember the Caps being the first club to offer a ticket for opening night on a CD a few years back? Yeah, that caught on. Here is a bulletin -- fundamentals matter, and winning sells. Need a glimpse of how?...here's an example (thanks to TANK1 on The Official for pointing this out). And this is a club that teetered on the brink of bankruptcy just a few years ago -- they sold out their season this year. They have almost 15,000 STHs and a season ticket waiting list of 6,000.

Meanwhile, the Caps have bright shiny toys.

Broken

The Caps -- as an organization that caters to fans -- looks broken.

An indication...this morning, my account was updated for next year's season tickets (even though the invoice date says April 10th). I can't say I was "notified" -- either by post or electronic mail. I received news of this from a diligent poster on The Official who checks his account regularly. I checked mine, and sure enough, it was updated. But here is the kicker...I have until Wednesday -- this Wednesday, the 18th -- to renew.

What sort of nonsense is this?

An apologist for the club might argue that the date is only slightly later than last year's due date for renewals (that would be a fact), but I'm guessing most fans do not return home from their daily work or chores with the first thing on their mind being, "hmm, did the Caps update my account manager, yet?"

Not only that, but the new pricing schedule apparently results in some substantial increases for some seats at the top of the arena.

I have no idea what is going on behind the closed doors of the front office; all I can see is what's oozing from underneath. And from what I'm seeing, there seems to be almost an intentional effort to cheese off "core" fans. All the carny barker blather that "We also want our fans to feel as though they are appreciated year-round, because they are. We love the fans we have, and we cherish our relationship with them..." aside, is this how you treat returning fans?

Let me be clear...I've been a fan of this franchise since I moved here from Michigan in 1984. Just about the first thing I did when I moved in was to enroll in a partial season ticket plan. When my own bottom line improved, I was able to upgrade that to a full season plan that I hold now. As a product of my utter disgust over the lockout and the run up to it, I changed my seating from the lower level loge to the second row of the balcony for the 2005-2006 season. But, I've kept my full season plan.

I will renew this year, because I see a glimmer of hope for what is on the ice. But just as this is a crossroads summer for the club, next year is one for this fan. I very nearly cancelled my STH plan after the lockout. If this is the way the club is going to treat its existing fan base (and I hardly think I'm alone), then that might be a decision to revisit upon the conclusion of next year.

The Peerless' Peerless Awards...

And now, The Peerless is proud to present...the last award prognostications you'll ever need (or perhaps even want).

Tonight’s first award to be presented is the Lester Patrick Trophy presented for outstanding service to hockey in the United States…and the winner is…

Brett Hull (shown here with the surgically implanted microphone)

“Wait, he’s not eligible.”

Huh?

“Only players, officials, coaches, executives, and referees are eligible.”

Well, The Brettster thinks he’s all five . . . besides, his goofy commentary makes one appreciate real players, officials, coaches, executives, and referees. Who could possibly be more outstanding?

Next is the presentation of the King Clancy Award given to the player who best exemplifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made a noteworthy humanitarian contribution in his community. And the winner is…

Ed Belfour, Florida Panthers

When things were going poorly in Florida, and Alex Auld went down with a knee injury, The Eagle was there to go 14-7-5 and lead the Panthers to a 12^th place finish. Then to celebrate, he led teammate Ville Peltonen on a night on the town when the pair were asked to leave a club by police, whereupon Belfour assumed a “fighting stance.” According to one report, “Belfour pulled away from the officer trying to arrest him and grabbed his shirt. The hockey player then fell forward on the ground, kicking and refusing to place his hands behind his back, the report said. Belfour had slurred speech, blood shot eyes and smelled of alcohol, police said. He was charged with disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence.”

Truly, a leader of men, on and off the ice.

And now, the Lady Byng Trophy, given to the player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability. And the winner is…

Toby Petersen, Edmonton Oilers (here, in a "Byngish" pose)

Hey, it’s got to go to someone who plays a lot (64 games), gets almost no penalties (4 PIMs) for the year, and that you’ll forget ten minutes from now, like an episode of “House.” And besides, “Toby” is a “Lady Byng” kind of name.

We now present the Frank J. Selke Trophy, given to the forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game. The Peerless has a theory about this…players who score a lot ar not eligible. First, their plus-minus look inflated, and besides, they already have enough awards for offensive guys. Second, it must go to a player whose first name is “Gritty” – as in Gritty Kris Draper or Gritty John Madden. Third, it must go to a player the casual fan pays no attention to, so as to reflect the judges “we know more about hockey than you do” attitude. And the winner is…

Gritty Mike Fisher, Ottawa Senators (here, applying the full Selke to an opponent)

The Peerless knew a Mike Fisher in college…he doesn’t think it’s the same one.

Next up is the Jack Adams Award presented to the NHL coach adjudged to have contributed the most to his team's success. Seeing as how the coach is prohibited from the rules from playing (at least while wearing a suit), his contributions are pretty much limited to snappy wardrobe, an evil stare that looks good on TV (one leg up on the bench always looks good – makes him look thoughtful…the Michel Therrien pose), a talent for a quick snappy quote for the media (although appearing to whine is a bad thing…Lindy Ruff, this means you), and a leather-lunged ability to abuse referees about their parentage. Oh, and playoffs…it would be good if your team was in the playoffs. And the winner is…

John “Guys and Dolls” Tortorella, Tampa Bay Lighting.

And now, we come to the James Norris Memorial Trophy presentation given to the defense player who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-round ability in the position. That’s a code phrase for “defenseman with the most points.” And the winner is…

Scott Niedermayer (69 points), Anaheim Ducks

The Peerless wonders why this isn’t renamed “The Paul Coffey Memorial Trophy”

Next on tonight’s cavalcade of hardware is the Bill Masterson Memorial Trophy given to the National Hockey League player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey. It goes to someone who was injured and came back. The Peerless notices that there are slim pickings among the top scorers for guys who are coming back from serious injury, so the winner is…

Eric Lindros, Blue Cross/Blue Shield

09-Mar-07: Groin, day-to-day.
27-Feb-07: Missed 6 games (lower body injury).
11-Feb-07: Lower body injury, day-to-day.
09-Jan-07: Missed 7 games (foot injury).
26-Dec-06: Foot injury, day-to-day.
12-Dec-06: Missed 4 games (bruised foot).
04-Dec-06: Bruised foot, day-to-day.

He gets hurt a lot. Still managed to score five goals in 49 games.

And now, we get to the portion of the show for awards that fans actually pay attention to. First is the Calder Memorial Trophy given to the player selected as the most proficient in his first year of competition in the National Hockey League. The Peerless being, well, “The Peerless," he’s noticed a certain pattern in the award of this trophy. There is actually a code here – G-F-D-G-F. No, it’s not some new DNA sequencing thing, and The Peerless isn’t channeling John Forbes Nash. The last five awards have gone: goalie-forward-defenseman-goalie-forward. You know what that means . . . and the winner is…

Marc-Edouard Vlasic, defenseman, San Jose Sharks

The Vezina Trophy is given to the goalkeeper adjudged to be the best at this position. The Peerless has a singular affection for a trophy awarded to guys named Tiny (Thompson), Turk (Broda), Apple Cheeks (Lumley), Bunny (Larocque), and Gump (Worsley). These days, though, it seems to go to guys with foreign sounding names – Olaf, Mar-TAN, Jose (not, “ho-zay”), Dominik, Miikka (must be good…even his name has redundant consonants and vowels). So, the winner is…

That Mar-TAN guy…Martin Brodeur, New Jersey Devils

The penultimate presentation is for the Lester B. Pearson Award presented annually to the "most outstanding player" in the NHL. “Most outstanding player” is a code phrase for “consolation prize to the loser of the Hart Trophy.” Trouble this year is that the Hart candidates are The Golden Child and two goalies…and goalies have their own award. So, The Peerless will go off the board on this one. And the winner is…

Joe Thornton, San Jose Sharks (his uncanny ability to levitate pucks impressed the judges)

And now, the climax to our ceremonies, the presentation of the Hart Memorial Trophy, given to the player judged to be the most valuable to his team. Please note…given to the player judged to be the most valuable to his team. No, really…given to the player judged to be the most valuable to his team. The Peerless doesn’t read that as “best player in the league.” That’s what the Pearson is for. No, The Peerless gazes deep into his crystal ball (which looks remarkably like a beer mug) and asks, if this guy was plucked by Martians from the face of the earth, would his club still be a playoff team or be a contender for he Cup? Well, there is this one guy . . . since December 12^th and a 5-2 in over Phoenix, this player finished the season with a 33-9-5, 2.14 GAA, .928 SV record, lifting his team from one game below .500 (14-15-1 before that December 12^th game) to a 49-26-7 record, the Northwest Division title, and a three-seed in the playoffs. No one meant more – was more valuable to his team – than The Peerless’ winner of the Hart Trophy…

Roberto Luongo, Vancouver Canucks

We stand humble in the shadow of greatness

This is damned good stuff . . . really, really damned good stuff.

I don't care who y'are, that's good bloggin' right there. There really isn't anything I can add that would improve on the exchanges themselves.

Must See Hockey

Sometimes, what the league wants, the league doesn’t get.

The league palpably yearns for a long, compelling Pittsburgh/Ottawa series that would ultimately be won by Pittsburgh, the more to see Sidney Crosby.

Sorry…the most compelling first round series might be unfolding in Nashville, where the Predators and the San Jose Sharks have developed a healthy amount of bile for each other based on the first two games.

The revealing statistics pertain to penalty minutes. For the season, San Jose ranked 26^th in total PIMs, Nashville 16^th. These are not, by and large, teams that skirt outside the rules.

That was before Scott Hartnell and Jonathan Cheechoo collided knee-on-knee, leaving Cheechoo injured and out for the remainder of the contest.

photo: Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Predictably, the clubs had different takes on the matter. Sharks coach Ron Wilson…

"It could be serious. It was like a two-part attack. It was an elbow to the mouth that knocked a tooth out and the knee-on-knee contact, which you've got two of the worst things that we have in hockey ... If that's not trying to hurt somebody, I don't know what is."

Predators coach Barry Trotz saw a different scene…

"It's unfortunate when anybody gets hurt in the game. But looking at it, I thought it was a pretty clean hit. I mean they did collide knee on knee. But there was no sticking out of the knee."

Whatever, the clubs have taken to evening the ledger on the ice. In the 119 minutes of hockey played since that incident, the clubs have totaled 174 minutes in penalties, 141 of that in last night’s 5-2 win by the Predators to even the series. The 84 minutes piled up by Nashville – including two game misconducts to the aforementioned Scott Hartnell – represents more than seven percent of their entire regular season total. For Hartnell, that’s a kneeing, a fighting, and three game misconducts in the series thus far. Add in tripping and unsportsmanlike conduct minors, at it’s clear Mr. Hartnell has been busy – 44 minutes worth of penalties busy. He has only 23:29 in total ice time in the two games. He might be asked to take a breather, courtesy of the league.

In addition to Mr. Hartnell’s antics, we have Alexander Radulov – he of the 26 minutes in 64 games this year – taking a run at Steve Bernier from behind, checking him face first into the boards to earn 15 minutes of his own quiet time, perhaps to contemplate the importance of that play when he’d already scored three goals in this series.

photo: AP Photo/Neil Brake

The rumble of thunder yet to come came in a comment by Shark’s center Joe Thornton . . .

"I think Colin Campbell has a job, and his job is to review these plays. I'm sure if he wants us to play this way, we can play this way. It's in his hands, and we'll see what happens."

This series has gotten personal. It is at the moment the most compelling story in the first round.

Congratulations Bears!

Last night, the Hershey Bears won three trophies in what, hopefully, will be capped by a repeat Calder Cup win, pounding the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins, 6-1, in Wilkes-Barre.

By virtue of the win, the Bears skated off with the F.G. (Teddy) Oke Trophy, presented by the AHL to the East Division champion, the Frank S. Mathers Trophy as Eastern Conference champion, and the MacGregor Kilpatrick Trophy (and is that a great name, or what?) as the AHL regular season points leader.

The Bears are at the top of their game as they prepare for the first round playoff series by finishing up their last two regular season games at Binghamton and at Philadelphia. Last night, they abused the Penguins in their own building to the tune of five goals in the first 16 minutes, chasing starting former Bear goaltender Nolan Schaefer (0-3-0 with Hershey this season...), to end the competitive portion of the evening quickly.

Against the other East Division playoff teams over the course of the season, the Bears stack up as follows:

vs. Albany: 7-1-0, 35GF/17GA
vs. Norfolk: 5-4-1, 38/33
vs. WBS: 6-4, 35-27

The Bears struggled against Norfolk in the second half, going 1-3-1 in the last five meetings. Against the Penguins, however, Hershey won five of the last six meetings, their only loss coming as the Penguins scored the tying and winning goals 13 seconds apart late in the Bears' third game in three nights.

With the reassignment of defenseman Mike Green and forwards Tomas Fleischmann, Eric Fehr and David Steckel to Hershey, the Bears appear ready to defend their title. One hopes that this will be a tale Chris Bourque will tell and re-tell in the years to come . . . "Listen, my children, and you shall hear...a wonderful tale of a special Bear year..."

The Peerless Prognosticator Brings You - - the Western Conference Prognostications

And now, having covered the East, we’ll turn to the West . . .

Detroit Red Wings (1) – Calgary Flames (8)

Season Series: Tied, 2-2

Series Theme: “Flames versus Flame Outs”

Fun Fact: Detroit has been eliminated in the first round in nine of their last 20 playoff appearances

The clubs exchanged a couple of one-goal games; they’ve exchanged a couple of three-goal games. The home team has won every game. They’ve alternated wins. Detroit scored 254 goals, Calgary 258. Detroit has had 398 power play opportunities, Calgary 401. Detroit has been shorthanded 408 times, Calgary 414. Detroit is 17.1 percent on the power play, Calgary 18.2. Detroit is 84.6 percent on the penalty kill, Calgary 80.4. They both wear red. Not a dime’s difference between them, eh?

Not quite . . . Detroit lost four – count ‘em, four – home games in regulation this season, and Calgary was not a good road team (13-20-8).

Detroit in seven.

**********

Anaheim Ducks (2) – Minnesota Wild (7)

Season Series: Tied, 2-2 (Minnesota has a shootout win)

Series Theme: “Wild versus Wild”

Fun Fact: Pierre-Marc Bouchard has one-fourth of his season goal output against the Ducks (5-of-20)

Anaheim had more fighting majors than any club in the league. They nearly lapped the field (71 to 47 for second place Phoenix). A lot of good that’ll do them here . . . every game in the season series was a one goal affair, but the series ended before New Years, making this a tougher read. But here is perhaps the telling statistic . . . Anaheim, which finished second in the league standings, was 20-13-8 since the last meeting with the Wild. On the other hand, the Wild are 28-9-6.

At the start of the season, Anaheim was The Peerless’ pick to win it all. But they have the problem of playing the one club that seems to have given them consistent trouble (all the games were one-goal games, all won by the home team). Anaheim will move on, but this could go to overtime in a seventh game.

Anaheim in seven.

**********

Vancouver Canucks (3) – Dallas Stars (6)

Season Series: Tied, 2-2 (Vancouver has a shootout win, Dallas an overtime win)

Series Theme: “I’d rather have bad luck than no luck at all”

Fun Fact: Roberto Luongo hasn’t played a playoff game of any sort in a North American league since 2000, with Lowell in the AHL, but in six international tournaments since he has a 2.02 GAA.

22 games, 8-14, 2.53, .892, two straight one-and-done. That is the length of chain forged by Stars’ goaltender Marty Turco in career playoff work that he drags behind him. Think that won’t be a factor? And he’s the one with the experience. So, is it better to have bad luck in playoffs?... or none?

This is another of those season series where every game was decided by one goal or in a shootout. And again, the home team won every contest. Both clubs had a strong finishing kick – Vancouver is 28-8-6 since the start of the new year; Dallas is 25-10-7. If there is one statistic that stands out, it is this – Vancouver led the league in penalty killing; Dallas was 11^th. That’s not the good part . . . despite that, Vancouver gave up only two fewer power play goals than did Dallas, a product of have to kill off 59 more short-handed situations (15.7 percent more). Vancouver has to keep from giving up too many short-handed situations to nullify their penalty-killing advantage – Dallas had the sixth fewest shorthanded situations in the league.

Turco will not win the series for Dallas, but their defense and discipline very well could.

Dallas in seven

**********

Nashville Predators (4) – San Jose Sharks (5)

Season Series: Nashville, 3-1 (including a shootout win)

Series Theme: “Too many cooks spoil the broth”

Fun Fact: Joe Thornton leads all scorers in this series without having the benefit of scoring a goal of his own (0-7-7)

This is a series marked by having four goaltenders, any one of whom could start. Tomas Vokoun went down with an injury, enter Chris Mason . . . he only finished second in the league in save percentage (Vokoun was fifth). Evgeni Nabokov has not lost a game in regulation in more than a month (March 2, 3-1 to Anaheim). But Vesa Toskala had more wins for the year (26 to 25) in fewer appearances (38 to 50). How the coaches handle the goalies is a subplot to this series.

San Jose finished stronger (7-1-2 in their last ten to 5-3-2 for Nashville), but the Sharks played Phoenix, Los Angeles (twice), and Chicago – they won all four games. Nashville had their own patsies, beating Edmonton twice and St. Louis. They did, however, lose in a shootout to Chicago.

It could come down to this…starting on St. Patrick’s Day, Peter Forsberg played in each of the Predators’ last ten games. He was 1-8-9, +6 in those games. If he’s healthy, he’s the wild card in this series.

Nashville in seven.

The Peerless' Profound Playoff Prognostication -- First Round in the East

Well, here we are, and The Peerless is poised to present the positively preeminent prognostications for your perusal. Let’s get right to the picks in the East . . .

Buffalo Sabres (1) – New York Islanders (8)

Season Series: Buffalo, 3-1

Series Theme: “Slugs versus Pugs”

Fun Fact: Daniel Briere has no goals against the Islanders this year.

The Islanders snuck in on the last day of the regular season by virtue of having cashed their Bettman token – a shootout win over the Devils. The Sabres sleepwalked through their finale against the Flyers with Ty Conklin in goal and Daniel Briere checking the Philly restaurant guide for some good skewered cuisine. Speaking of sleep-walking, Alexei Yashin had one point in four games against the Sabres this year.

In a perfect world, Chris Simon deposits Daniel Briere in Long Island Sound at some point in this series. Well, Simon was asked to take a vacation, and in the meantime, the Islanders are being backstopped by a goaltender named, “Dubie.” The Peerless wouldn’t bet your money on the Islanders, let alone his own…

Buffalo in four.

**********

New Jersey Devils (2) – Tampa Bay Lightning (7)

Season Series: Tampa Bay, 3-1 (including a shootout win)

Series Theme: “Good Marty versus Evil Marty”

Fun Fact: No Devil has more than two points against the Lightning this year

OK, so “good” and “evil” depend on your point of view. On the one hand, we have Martin Brodeur, iron-man goaltender, the rock upon which the Devils edifice is built, a sure-fire hall of famer, likely to be the winningest goalie (without an asterisk) in the history of the game when he retires. On the other hand, we have a midget.

You choose.

This is the “irresistible force meets immovable object series,” one with Stanley Cup pedigrees all over the place. It says here that goaltending and defense win at this time of year – the Devils have that, the Lightning don’t.

New Jersey in six.

**********

Atlanta Thrashers (3) – New York Rangers (6)

Season Series: Atlanta, 3-1 (including two overtime wins)

Series Theme: “’Baby’ Blue versus Broadway Blue”

Fun Fact: Adam Hall is tied for the Rangers' lead in PP goals against Atlanta...trouble is, he's in Minnesota now

Atlanta has never played a playoff game – ever. The Rangers have the bad taste of last year’s thwapping at the hands of the Devils that included the further insult of Jaromir Jagr separating his shoulder trying to throw a punch. Both clubs feature excellent young goaltenders, both clubs have high-end offensive performers (the Thrashers have more of them), both clubs can play with a bit of an edge (Atlanta has more of that), and there is that whole Atlanta winning the season series thing, the last three in a row. So?

New York Rangers in seven

**********

Ottawa Senators (4) – Pittsburgh Penguins (5)

Season Series: Pittsburgh, 3-1 (including two shootout wins)

Series Theme: “Groundhog Day”

Fun Fact: Ray Emery's been bad in this series (3.17, .863)...Marc-Andre Fleury's been worse (4.10, .886)

Hey, readers, you know the drill . . .

First D.J.: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.

Second D.J.: It's coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?

First D.J.: Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later this week with that, you know, that, uh, that first round of the playoffs thing.

Second D.J.: [mockingly] That playoff - thing. That playoff - thing. Oh, well, here's the report! The National Hockey League is calling for a "big playoff thing!"

First D.J.: Yessss, they are. But you know, there's another reason why this week is especially exciting.

Second D.J.: Especially cold!

First D.J.: Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody's lips...

Second D.J.: - On their chapped lips...

First D.J.: - On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Ottawa is finally going to win a Cup?

Second D.J.: The Ottawa Senators!

First D.J.: Thats right, hockey puck-chuckers - it's

[in unison]

First D.J.: PLAYOFF CHOKE TIME!

Second D.J.: PLAYOFF CHOKE TIME!

In a way, it hardly matters that the Senators are playing the Penguins. On the other hand, it matters a lot, since this is (in the eyes of some) the marquee matchup of the first round – a product of you-know-who’s first career playoff series. If Ottawa starts slowly, they’re toast, no matter what the disparity is in playoff experience. Ottawa is carrying a cargo hold of baggage, the Penguins are carrying a Game Boy.

Penguins in five.