The Peerless is pleased to announce the establishment of a new award. We have various awards bestowed upon players by the league for various accomplishments - the Hart Memorial Trophy for the league's most valuable player, the James Norris Trophy for the league's top defenseman.Well, now we have a new entry into the galaxy of awards . . . The Peerless Prognosticator's "Old Man's Major Award" Award (ok, it's a rip-off from "A Christmas Story," so what's your point?) . . . The citation reads as follows:
To that Washington Capital who exhibits the timeless qualities of "The Old Man" -- a unique gift for language, a singular inability to fix anything, a hatred of Bumpus' hounds - or just opponents in general -- a love of turkey, and a singular effort in exhibiting the curmudgeonly, ornery, but loving attributes we attribute to, "The Old
The award will be announced monthly, and the floor will be open to nominations for the first five days following the end of the month. The decisions of The Peerless will be final . . . "What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It's a Major Award. I won It!"
-- The Peerless