Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Quintin Laing took one for the team last night. In fact, he probably banked about 500 for the team with the puck he took to the jaw last night that will keep him on the shelf for several weeks. We've never experienced the technicolor pain of a broken jaw (although we do remember cringing when Michael Corleone took one to the teeth and had his jaw wired shut in "The Godfather"). We wondered, what do people suffering such injuries do after the injury and, if necessary, the surgery they need to repair the damage?

Well, thank heavens for Google. We found a few sites that describe the "blenderized" culinary world the patient inhabits and some of the precautions that the recuperating patient needs to take. For instance...

The Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center recommends...

- Instead of 3 meals each day, try to eat 6 to 8 times a day.

- Avoid foods that are very hot or very cold. Your teeth can be extra sensitive to the temperature extremes.

- Avoid large amounts of water, diet sodas, coffee, and tea, as these drinks have few calories.

We're going to guess that the DHMC doesn't recommend jaw fractures as a weight loss strategy. The meals they describe are the sorts of things you haven't sampled since you were about, oh... six (months old, that is). Here is a sample lunch:

- 1 jar strained chicken (blend with milk or chicken broth)
- 1 jar strained peas (blend with milk or chicken broth)
- ½ cup mashed potatoes (blend with milk or chicken broth)
- 1 cup juice
- 1 cup milk

And how might you partake of the liquids without getting them all over yourself or resorting to the use of a bib? Well, that's where the fine folks at "Zip-n-Squeze Products" come in...

"These squeezable bags make hydration and nutrition a simple task not an overwhelming event... In the past the only other options for consuming a liquid diet were a syringe & catheter, turkey basters or sipee cups. This product is fun and easy to use greatly reducing anxiety at mealtime."

Catheters? Turkey basters? Sipee cups?!?!? Well, at least these things look cool, like something astronauts might use in space flight.

The people at the Loudoun Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery firm suggest that "a liquid diet does not always meet all the essential requirements, so it will be necessary to supplement each meal with one serving of any one of the following Sustagen, Meritene, Nutrament, Ovaltine or Carnation Instant Breakfast." Hey, just throw it all in the blender you have to buy and whip some up.

Here is how one person copes with the injury, and adds these helpful tips...

- Keep things that you use at waist height or higher to avoid having to do a lot of bending down. Bending down can cause nose bleeds.

- Try not to sneeze if avoidable. Sneezing when you have a broken jaw can be very painful.

- Use cotton swabs and rubbing alcohol to clean your nose. No nose blowing while your jaw is wired.

Oh, and don't partake of anything that makes you nauseous. That's a whole other conversation. We'll spare you the details.


Hateoffseason said...

Great stuff Peerless. Don't remember much about my broken jaw as a kid (sledding accident, Mom broke her ankle on the same tree that got my jaw), but I do remember that I lived off of Chocolate Malts. Can't say that the cold bothered me. But hell, even if it did, it was a month of chocolate malts, who cares.

OT, stop reminding me about the Nylander situation with the hostage situation. Until #8 has no hope of having his best goal scoring year, I say bring back Ovechkin's goal scoring chart.

Flying Cloud said...

I met Calle Johansson at Landover when he was on IR with a broken jaw. He couldn't speak of course, but he was standing there in the round-about meeting and greeting everyone at game's end. What a champion!

ttrombecky said...

My son just had his 2nd broken jaw surgery. Forget zip n squeeze -- I think they went out of business. Cashed the check but never sent the product and phone was disconnected. Hopefully there's another company out there but we never found it. Get creative with a good blender. A cheesburger pureed with cheddar cheese soup is not bad. And while this isn't easy, the muscle rehab after the wires come off is really the hardest part. My hockey son (who's also suffered a broken back and neck but rehabbed and still plays) says that pain was the worst. Our prayers are with you Quentin.