Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Gonna Fly Now...

Hello, everybody, and happy Olympics from a very unusual place. We're in Vancouver in Canada. I'm Stu Nahan at rinkside, and this promises to be the most-watched event in hockey history. The Rampaging Bear from Russia, Ovey Balbovechkin, and from Cole Harbour in Canada, Sidney Dragsby.

Since that tragedy in Detroit and the death of the Red Wings’ reign as Stanley Cup champs, Dragsby has been nicknamed ‘Death From Below.’

The Prime Minister is here and other members of Parliament…they have made their way to their seats high above the rink here at Canada Hockey Place…

I know you're busy just now...but I want to tell you some things I never told you. I know sometimes I act stupid and take stupid penalties. But you kept me around when others would have said, ‘Drop that bum.’ You give me respect. It's hard for me to say these things because that ain't my way... but if I could just be someone else, I'd want to be you. You're all heart.


Now blast this guy's teeth out!

I'll try.

Balbovechkin is starting to make his way toward the ring. Listen to this crowd! This borders on pure hatred.  Ovey's face is absolutely like stone. He is the picture of concentration. The booing crowd here does not seem to bother him one bit. The champ has a look tonight that can burn through lead.  Listen to this crowd. It sounds insane... Now the entrance of the darling of Canada... Sidney Dragsby, a man with an entire country in his corner.  Look at the expression on the face of Sidney Dragsby. He seems impervious to the madness of the crowd. He's like a volcano just waiting to erupt.

I must break you.

Remember what I said back there about wanting to be you?


Forget it.

There's the opening face off. Balbovechkin picks up the puck at center ice… the Canadian following him into the corner… Once more, it's Dragsby backing up Ovey with a poke check… Balbovechkin is not staying on balance because of the Canadian’s stick.

Balbovechkin is pounding away at the midsection of the Canadian defense!

He hit him with everything he's got! - Dragsby just smiled at him.

Dragsby is continuing to punish Ovey Balbovechkin!

Ovey Balbovechkin is just trying to get through this first period.

He's not only fighting what appears to be an invincible opponent... he's also fighting a very hostile crowd.

What's happening out there?

He's winning.  I see three of him out there.

Get the one in the middle.

There's the bell for round two, uh, faceoff to start the second period. It's been a one-sided fight so far.

It will take more than luck for Ovey to survive this period.

Ovey Balbovechkin has taken Sidney Dragsby's best punches so far.

He's hit! - The Canadian’s hit! It's a huge hit!

Now it's Ovey Balbovechkin coming after Sidney Dragsby! The Canadian wants to go on! He hits Balbovechkin in the [edited for younger audiences, but it’s somewhere south of the navel and north of the knees]. It's a gutter war! No holds barred in Vancouver! This is shaping up to be a personal war. Right now, it's anybody's boxing match… uh, hockey game.

You're doing good. I couldn't do better myself.


You got him hurt bad. Now he's worried. You hit him! You hurt him! You see? He's not a machine! He's a man! You want it more than he does! No pain! Take it to him! Get up!

This place is ready to explode. Lethal punch after punch! Amazing willpower! Neither man backing off. Ovey Balbovechkin's determination is actually winning over the once-hostile crowd. This is incredible.

What period is it?

Third. One more period.

There's no stopping us now. This is our period. No stopping now! You start, and you don't stop! All your strength! All your power! All your love! Everything you've got! To win, you have to knock him out! Shoot ‘til you can't shoot no more! This is your whole life here! Knock him out! Do it now!

Which one of these fighters will be standing at the end of this period? Dragsby snaps out a wrist shot, and another. Ovey taking punishment, trying to get inside the Canadian defense! He's completely exhausted. Balbovechkin is chopping the Canadians down! He SCORRRRRRRRRRRRRES!!!

Ovey Balbovechkin has done the impossible!!!... and these people love it! It is absolute pandemonium! More than ever, Ovey has proven himself a true champion!

Thank you. I came here tonight... and I didn't know what to expect. I've seen a lot of people hating me... and I didn't know... what to feel about that, so... I guess I didn't like youse much either. During this fight, uh, game... I seen a lot of changing… the way you felt about me... and the way I felt about you. In here... there were two guys... killing each other. But I guess that's better than million people watching ice dancing. What I'm trying to say is... if I can change... and you can change... everybody can change!

I just want to say one thing to my fans in Washington... who should be home sleeping…

We’re gonna win the Cup, too!!!


Hooks Orpik said...

I must be a sadist, I enjoy the earlier scene better, you know, when Dragsby ruthlessly kills Balbovechkin's buddy Apollo Creedstrom.

Regardless, hopefully the game lives up to the hype

The Peerless said...

That might come in the semis...