'Tis the Season...Today's Lockout Carol

Two suits meeting in a conference room

Fans a’waiting for results

Yuletide tweets being sent by the press,

Why is this so difficult?

Everybody knows that Bettman and his owner crowd,

Want to make those paychecks light.

Players grouse, getting angry and loud,

There won’t be any deal tonight.

They know that drop-dead’s on its way;

It means there won’t be any games coming our way.

And every hockey fan is going to cry,

Asking one last question, “why, oh why?”

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,

To Don and Gary for their chats,

It’s true we all want a quick end to this fray,

We’re tir’d of being your…doormats.

Yesterday's Labor Talks Made Simple

With apologies to Gary Larson...

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look at the Twitter feeds, web site and paper leads
They’re leaving hockey fans feeling so low.

It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled
And hockey fans are sore
But the ugliest sight to see is the image that will be
Bettman’s face once more.

A pair of CCM skates and hockey camp dates
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Quick as a blink, it's out to the rink
Is the hope of Janice and Jen.
And hockey fans can hardly wait for games to start again.

It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled
Ev'rywhere you go;
There's a kid standing by the glass, missing a day of class,
Waiting for games that set his cheeks a-glow.


It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled;
The talks, they fell apart,
And the thing that will make it sad is the year that we'd have had
Would make glad your heart.

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

Sing along, kids.  You know the tune...

Have a holly jolly meeting

It's ‘bout time you save the year

Well I don't know if chances grow

But that is what we hear

Have a holly jolly meeting

And when you walk in the room

Shake the hand of ev’ry man

And stop this talk of doom

Good grief, the legal brief

All you ever see

Somebody light a match

Burn ‘em up for me

Have a holly jolly meeting

And in case we didn’t say

Oh by golly have a holly jolly meeting

To-day!

Have a holly jolly meeting

It's ‘bout time you save the year

Well I don't know if chances grow

But that is what we hear

Have a holly jolly meeting

And in case we didn’t say

Oh by golly have a holly jolly meeting

To-day!

A TWO-point night -- Game 28: Captials 4 - Penguins 2

The Washington Capitals returned to the friendly confines of Verizon Center on Tuesday to take on their archrival, the Pittsburgh Penguins, a team that was one of the surprises in the NHL in the early going, and not in a good way.  Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin were as prolific as ever, but the Penguins were having trouble getting scoring from anyone else.  James Neal, who notched his fourth goal of the season in the last meeting of these teams on Hallowe’en, has had one goal since. Chris Kunitz came into this game working on a ten-game streak of his own without a goal.  Pascal Dupuis has had success chipping in on Crosby’s goals (Crosby entered this game with 12 goals, seven of them since these teams last met), but has had only one of his own over his last dozen games.

The game started with the Penguins trying to make a statement with early pressure on Caps goalie Michal Neuvirth.  They were not able to maneuver a puck around or through him, though, over the first half of the period.  It was as the period approached the midway point that the Penguins then committed an unforced error.  Paul Martin was penalized two minutes for interference when he held up Joel Ward trying to chase a puck he chipped into the corner in the Penguin end.  

The Caps made the Penguins pay for the mistake at the 9:22 mark when Alex Ovechkin faked a slap shot from the left wing circle and passed the puck to Nicklas Backstrom at the edge of the right wing circle.  With the Penguins positioning themselves to defend an Ovechkin drive, Backstrom was uncovered and redirected the slap-pass into the net behind Penguin goalie Marc-Andre Fleury to give the Caps the early lead.  That would be the extent of the scoring in the first period, the Caps holding a 1-0 lead on the scoreboard and a 9-8 edge in shots on goal.

The second period unfolded as a replay of the first when the Penguins’ Brooks Orpik took a double-minor for high sticking Brooks Laich at the 3:48 mark of the period.  The Caps converted on the first-half of the four-minute man advantage when John Carlson fed a wrist shot from the top of the zone through a clot of bodies in front of Fleury to put the Caps up by a pair at 5:18.

Pittsburgh killed off the second half of the Caps’ man advantage, and it seemed to restore some momentum for the visitors.  The Penguins gradually tilted the ice toward the Caps’ end of the rink, and it paid off late.  Craig Adams forced Caps’ defenseman Dmitry Orlov into a turnover with hard forechecking pressure behind the Caps’ net.  Orlov coughed up the puck, which slid out to forward Joe Vitale who was skating in to support Adams.  Vitale found himself with the puck in open ice just to Neuvirth’s left, and Vitale banged it in before Neuvirth could prepare himself for the shot.

The goal seemed to wake the Capitals up, though.  Barely a minute later the Caps returned the favor of hard forechecking pressure in the Penguin end, and Joel Ward picked Matt Niskanen’s pocket, poking the puck along the end wall to Jason Chimera.  From behind the net to Fleury’s right Chimera took a hit from Ben Lovejoy as he was centering the puck for Brooks Laich.  The Capital forward did not get a clean whack at the puck, but got just enough of it to send it on net.  The pace of the shot handcuffed Fleury, and the puck slid between his pads, restoring the Caps to their two-goal lead just before the second intermission.

For the first half of the third period, it was the Caps’ turn to frustrate the Penguins with forechecking, and when the Pens were able to move the puck up ice Washington did a good job of preventing scoring opportunities.  Karl Alzner and John Carlson were especially effective in shutting down the Sidney Crosby-Chris Kunitz-Pascal Dupuis line, one that would not record a point in this game.  Mike Green and Roman Hamrlik were equally effective in containing Evgeni Malkin, who would also finish this game without a point.

The Caps’ efforts were rewarded in the 13^th minute of the period when Mathieu Perreault knifed between two Penguins to flick a rebound of a Jack Hillen shot past Fleury for the Caps’ fourth goal.  That one seemed to take the remaining wind out of the Penguins’ sails, although the visitors would get one back with under three minutes left when Brandon Sutter wristed a puck past Neuvirth from between the hash marks to close out the scoring.

Capitals 4 – Penguins 2

Boarding the Shuttle

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

-- Albert Einstein

They have tried meetings involving the principals.  They have tried meetings involving seconds.  They have tried meetings involving principals and the seconds.  They have tried meetings involving no principals and just seconds with owners and players.  They tried bringing in the face of the league to participate in meetings, reported to have met with his agent and owner to try to figure out what might work.

And yet, here we are…Day 87 of the Great Lockout of 2012.

You see a pattern here?

Having people who clearly do not trust, like, or respect one another in the same room, expecting that something wonderful will bloom, might not be a working strategy here.  Perhaps it is time for something else.

“Shuttle Diplomacy”

Simply put, shuttle diplomacy introduces the notion of an “honest broker” to serve as an intermediary between two contentious parties, shuttling between them communicating offers and divining and documenting common ground between them.  It allows the parties to avoid, at least to some extent, the aspect of personality that in this instance seems to have poisoned the process.  The players don’t trust NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman.  The owners don’t like NHL Players Association Executive Director Donald Fehr.  One might opine that the principals themselves have a professional distance between them, but the relationship looks like something else that is fitting for this time of year – frosty.

This process might benefit from having a third party – that “honest broker” – communicate offers and proposals between the parties and document where the sides are in agreement.  One might argue that the principals are savvy veterans of labor wars, and it would be a fair comment.  That argues for a party with stature and an impeccable reputation for integrity and honesty, a party that both sides, including rank and file players and owners not on the NHL’s negotiating committee, would have faith in as a trustworthy and discrete arbiter while having no agenda in the outcome.

Thinking out loud, the sort of candidate one would prefer to assume this role would be someone who has experience both on the rink and in the front office.  It would be someone whose credentials as a spokesperson for the game are impeccable and who also has a familiarity with the business of sports management.  One would prefer that this individual have experience in high-stakes negotiation and that he or she has the skill to distill issues to their essential elements. 

The principals have not been able to do this for themselves.  Maybe they can do a better job of finding that person who can broker an agreement both sides can live with.

Get on with it.

Cancelled...Cancelled...Cancelled...

The National Hockey League is expected to cancel another block of games early this week even as they struggle with when/whether to have further talks with the Players Association to arrive at an agreement on a new labor pact.  The schedule of cancellations so far looks like this...

The block of dates on the calendar for the next round of cancellations will be telling.  If the cancellations amount to a week or two, it might serve as evidence that the sides are still close, despite the histrionics following last Thursday's set of meetings, proposals, and rejections (although we did reset the "puck-in-play" condition back to PUCKCON 2).  If it is longer, it might be a signal as to what the league considers its "drop-dead" date to cancel the season.  This might be the last block of games cancelled before the league puts the season out of its misery.

A NO-point night -- Game 27: Red Wings 3 - Capitals 2

On Friday night the Washington Capitals looked to get back on the winning track with a visit to Detroit to take on the Red Wings at Joe Louis Arena.  The Caps, losers on Wednesday night to the New York Rangers by a 3-2 margin, would be facing a team that was in the midst of a seven-game home stand that saw them go 3-0-1 in their first four contests.

The teams started the game like prize fighters circling one another for an opening.  Neither team recorded a shot in the first five minutes.  The game opened up a little bit after that, though, and it was the Red Wings that scored first.  Valteri Filppula was the exclamation point on a tic-tac-toe passing play that started with Carl Colaiacovo at the top of the right wing circle.  His pass to Mikael Samuelsson was redirected onto the stick of Filppula, who shoveled the puck into the far side of the net from the edge of the left wing circle before goalie Michal Neuvirth could get across his crease.

Less than two minutes later the Caps tied the score.  Mike Ribeiro notched his sixth of the year after some gritty work by Brooks Laich in front to keep the puck from being covered by Detroit goalie Jimmy Howard.  Laich had several whacks at the puck, and although he could not find a hole in Howard’s pads, his last whack caromed to Howard’s right where Ribeiro was alone to stuff he puck inside the post at the 11:01 mark of the period.  That would be the last of the scoring in the first period, the reams tied at one goal apiece and the Red Wings having a 9-4 edge in shots on goal.

The second period looked a lot different from the first, at least for the home team.  The Red Wings came out of the locker room flying.  They recorded the first eight shots of the period, but none managed to find its way past Neuvirth, who was single-handedly keeping the Caps in the contest.  He could not keep his net entirely clean, though.  The Red Wings’ ability to control the puck in the offensive zone for long stretches paid dividends late in the period when Kyle Quincey threw a harmless looking shot toward the net that appeared to be going wide to Neuvirth’s right.  The puck struck Cory Emmerton’s left skate, however, and changed direction just enough to sneak through Neuvirth’s skates for the tie-breaking goal at 16:04.  It would be the only goal the Red Wings would record in the period, a surprising result given that the Wings would outshoot the Caps by a 19-6.

The Caps took advantage of Neuvirth’s stonewalling the Wings in the second period by tying the game just 68 seconds after the intermission.  Alex Ovechkin took a pass from Mike Green at his own blue line and started up ice with Jonathan Ericsson back for the Wings.  Ovechkin freight-trained his way up ice, pushing Ericsson back.  As he crossed the blue line he feinted a cut to the middle and slid the puck through Ericsson’s skates.  Picking it up on the other side of Ericsson in the left wing circle, Ovechkin rifled a wrist shot to the long side of Howard and inside the far post to tie the game.

That was the way the game stood for almost 16 minutes.  But with just over three minutes remaining the Wings broke the tie when Pavel Datsyuk got his stick in the way of a cross-ice pass from Mike Green to Roman Hamrlik.  Datsyuk split the defense and skated in alone on Neuvirth on a clean breakaway, finishing off the play with a deke that drew Neuvirth off balance enough to give Datsyuk an opening to slide the puck through and into the back of the net at 16:59.

The Caps could manage little pressure after that, recording only one shot on goal in the last 3:01, and the Red Wings extended their home streak of not losing in regulation to five games with a 3-2 win over the Caps.

Red Wings 3 – Capitals 2

A Man for the Moment

We find ourselves walking through the rubble this morning, the National Hockey League and its Players Association having nuked negotiations last evening.  As we stagger through the dust this morning, we are left to answer a question in the quiet of our own thoughts, “what…what can we do now?”

As always, one man stands alone as an answer to our prayers for hockey.  A man of vast wealth, star power, and great hair.

Yes, Donald Trump.  What professional hockey needs now, now that the league and its union have settled the matter of whether then can play nice, is someone to turn our glum to glitter, our melancholy to a mélange of bright lights and gaudy uniforms.  I propose to you…

The Trump Hockey League

Think of it.  There are a lot of cities out there with the size and perhaps the arena availability to make this work.  There could be 12 teams in two divisions…

Think of it… hockey on the rink, casinos in the concourses.  Not a “red light” to signal a goal, but explosions!  Fireworks!  Pulsating lights!  Referees, not in striped shirts with orange arm bands, but the full day-glo orange ensemble.  Goalies with pads that flash when a puck hits them.  Not the home team logo on every game puck, but a picture of The Donald, Commissioner and Grand Poobah of the THL.

Enough of this old school, staid hockey in the NHL.  Enough of the constant bickering between owners and players.  Play the game with style, with panache, with the sort of production it deserves, for the best fans on earth.

Donald Trump, your time has come.  Hockey needs you.

Giving 'til it theoretically hurts

“Good morning, and thanks for coming in today.”

My pleasure.

“Please, have a seat…

…the reason I called you in today is that we are reviewing our financial position, and we are realigning costs with a change in our business model.”

Which has been quite successful, if I might say.  Revenue is up, stock prices up, market cap is solid.  Looks like we’re doing very well.

“True…nevertheless, changing times mean changes in the workplace.  We are prepared to offer you a compensation package that is summarized by what you see on this fact sheet.  Please take a look at it.”

…but… if I understand the numbers here, I’d be taking a 24 percent pay cut, and that would be subject to another reduction after not more than five years.  That’s new.

“Like I said…changing time means changing…”

Yeah, I heard you.  Why is it that I’m having to take such a pay cut when business seems to be doing so well?

“Well, we think we are paying you too much, and besides, the improvements – the new health club, the day care center, the renovated offices – all cost money.”

I’m not sure I can agree to this offer.

“Well, perhaps we can sweeten it a skosh…”

I’m listening.

“Let’s say… a 19 percent cut instead of a 24 percent cut.”

While the company is earning more revenue in a bad economy and seeing its value increase year to year?  I might be agreeable to a five or six percent cut for the good of the franchise, but 19 percent?

“OK, how about this… a 14 percent cut.  And, you agree to a five-year package…”

After which you can cut me again.

“Changing times…”

Call for changes in the workplace, yeah, I get it.

“And we’d ask for a non-competition clause in your deal.  If you leave the firm, you can’t be employed by a competitor for at least three years.”

What?  Where does this come from?

“We’re going to have to hold firm on that.”

Let’s go back to the 14 percent cut.  You’re going to phase that in, right?

“Oh, no.  That goes into effect immediately.”

This isn’t going to work.  I’m still under the deal we made two years ago; how are you going to make good on your end of the bargain?

-- shrugs shoulders –

So, if I understand you, I have to take a 14 percent pay cut, today, and it’s only good for the next five years.  And, if I should leave the firm, I can’t take a job with a competitor for three years.

“We could perhaps bump  that period covering the deal from five to seven years, since you are part of the team, and maybe...maybe phase the pay cut over two years, half now and half next year.”

I still don’t think it’s such a good deal.

“How can you say that?  We’ve given up so much from our side of the table.  We bumped up our offer on compensation by nine percent.  We added two years to your deal.  Phased in the pay cut.  We’ve made real concessions here.”

That’s a change in your original offer.  You are getting real dollars out of my real pocket.  And my compensation package is still tied to your revenue model.  Meanwhile, you have all those stock options, and if you can show you cut labor cost – again, I might add, since you did this seven years ago, too – they will be worth a whole lot more money, none of which I’ll ever see.

***

When one side of the table talks about having given up so much, ask yourself, “given up based on what, what they have or what they want?”

You can only give up what you really have, not something based on a theory.

Change in PUCKCON readiness

Almost two months ago – two MONTHS ago – we scribbled out our handy tool to let the reader know just where we are in these infernal labor negotiations.  It’s over there on the right.

For some time now, we have been at PUCKCON 2, described as:

“No labor discussions are scheduled; sides far apart on key issues for foreseeable future.”

With this week’s owner/player confabs and the widespread reports of progress being made, plus the fact that the discussions have gone into the early morning hours, we have changed the “puck-in-play condition” to PUCKCON 4:

“Sides are exchanging proposals on major issues in same framework.”

Carry on…

The Science of Hockey... Sorta

We've shown this before, but while the NHL and NHL Players Association continue to sort out their labor differences, we bring you once more one of the great moments in experimental science, an answer to the question, "yeah, but will it blend?"

A NO-point night -- Game 26: Rangers 3 - Capitals 2

The Washington Capitals completed their back-to-back set of games this week with a visit to Manhattan to take on the New York Rangers.  It was a story of two teams going in different directions.  The Capitals entered the contest on a three-game winning streak, while the Rangers were stumbling since Thanksgiving with a record of 1-3-1 since the holiday.

However, the Rangers won both of the previous contests with the Caps this season, a 4-2 win at Madison Square Garden on November 14^th and a 4-3 win in Washington two days later.  Neither team could take control of the contest at the outset, although both teams enjoyed good scoring chances in the first period.  Caps goalie Braden Holtby stoned Rick Nash from point blank range off a Caps turnover at the six-minute mark of the period, and Henrik Lundqvist foiled Jason Chimera on a breakaway 13 minutes into the period.  That would be as close as either team would come to scoring in the first 20 minutes as the period closed scoreless.

The scoreless tie was broken by the Rangers early in the second period.  Brad Richards held the puck at the left wing wall and waited for Marian Gaborik to settle into a seam in the Caps’s defense.  Richards found him in the high slot, and Gaborik one-timed the puck past Holtby for the game’s first goal.

The Rangers added to their lead less than six minutes later on a power play when it was Richards on the receiving end of a feed, this one from Dan Girardi, who carried the puck deep and around the Caps net.  When he emerged from the other side of the cage he managed to push the puck in front, even with Brooks Laich draped over him.  From the edge of the left wing circle Richards chipped the puck over Holtby’s blocker to give the Blueshirts a 2-0 lead.

New York made it 3-0 late in the period when they caught the Caps chasing in their own zone.  Derek Stepan and Carl Hagelin played a game of cycling the puck in the right wing corner until Stepan stepped out toward the Capitals’ net, and Hagelin found him with a pass that Stepan redirected through  Holtby’s legs for a three-goal lead that the Rangers took to the second intermission.

The third period started with the Rangers trying to consolidate their gains from the first 40 minutes and run out the clock in the last 20 minutes.  For the first ten minutes, it worked as the home team suffocated the Caps in their own zone.  But after getting a whistle in one of their rare forays into the Ranger end just after the midway point of the period, Marcus Johansson took a draw for the Caps to the left of Ranger goalie Henrik Lundqvist.  Johansson tied up Derek Stepan just long enough for Mathieu Perreault to gather up the loose puck.  Perreault ducked out from behind Johansson and Stepan and wristed a puck past a surprised Lundqvist at the 11:02 mark to get the Caps on the board.  It was only the Caps’ second shot on goal of the period, but it touched off what would be a furious finish for the visitors. 

The pressure the Caps applied to the Rangers did not, however, result in any production on the scoreboard until Nicklas Backstrom scored with 2:16 remaining in regulation.  Dmitry Orlov sent a shot to the Ranger net that Lundqvist turned aside.  However, Troy Brouwer was lurking and snapped the rebound at what looked like an open net.  Lundqvist managed to get a skate on the puck, but could not defend the shot by Backstrom that came from that rebound, Backstrom lifting a backhand high into the net over a prone Lundqvist.

That would be all the Caps would get, though, even with the fierce pressure they applied in the last minute with Holtby pulled to the bench for an extra attacker.  The Rangers escaped with their third win over the Caps in three tries so far this season, 3-2.

Rangers 3 – Capitals 2

A TWO-point night -- Game 25: Caps 4 - Islanders 1

A Tuesday night in early December does not make for the most exciting setting for hockey, and when the opponent is the New York Islanders, the temptation might be to sleep walk through the night.  That was the big test for the Washington Capitals as they headed off to Long Island to face the Islanders on Tuesday.  The Caps were looking to extend a two-game winning streak, while the surprising Islanders came into the game challenging for the Atlantic Division lead.

If the Caps were tempted to try to stroll through this one, it didn’t show.  After a closely contested first ten minutes, the Caps broke on top just after the ten-minute mark when Mike Ribeiro won an offense zone faceoff, and Wojtek Wolski picked up the loose puck at the side wall.  Wolski circled out and from the top of the right wing circle fired a wrist shot through a screen that goalie Evgeni Nabokov never saw as it sailed past his glove, giving the Caps a 1-0 lead.

Wolski and Ribeiro teamed up again four minutes later.  The play started when Karl Alzner chipped the puck off the glass in the Caps’ end and into the neutral zone.  Ribeiro picked it up and started up the right side.  As he approached the blue line he sent the puck to Wolski cutting into the middle.  Wolski picked it up and split the Islander defense, finding himself alone on Nabokov.  He deked Nabokov to the ice and roofed a forehand to put the Caps up 2-0 at the 14:20 mark.

The Islanders might have made it out of the first period with no further damage, but a self-inflicted wound did them in for a third Caps goal just before the intermission.  A bad dump-in coupled with a bad line change left the Caps with a 2-on-none break in the final minute.  Brooks Laich converted a Mike Ribeiro pass for a lay-up with just 27 seconds left in the period, and the Caps had a 3-0 lead at the first intermission.

If the Islanders had designs on making this a competitive game in the second period, those thoughts were smashed in the second minute.  An Alex Ovechkin wrist shot hit Nabokov on the left shoulder and seemed to stun the goalie.  While Nabokov struggled to recover, Nicklas Backstrom swooped in and snapped the puck into the back of the net for his sixth goal of the season to give the Caps a 4-0 advantage.

The teams traded power play opportunities later in the period, but neither side could convert their chance.  The teams skated off at the end of 40 minutes with the Caps still holding their 4-0 lead.

The third period took on the look of a game in which both teams were looking to get it over with.  The Caps managed 11 shots on Nabokov, but none could have been considered the product of a good scoring opportunity.  The only suspense left was to see if Michal Neuvirth would record his first shutout of the season.  The Islanders ended the suspense late in the period when a Kyle Okposo shot from the right wing circle struck Caps defenseman Mike Green in the thigh and was redirected past Neuvirth’s glove.  It would be the last of the scoring for the evening, the Caps coming away with a 4-1 win.

Capitals 4 – Islanders 1

A Look at a Last Gasp: The Owners and Players Meet

The eyes of hockey will be glued to their mobile devices today, waiting for the faintest glimmer of news about a meeting scheduled to be held between six owners of NHL clubs and six players on NHL teams with minimal staff and no league or union principals in the room.  It is what might be a last gasp to nudge the sides to a solution to a labor agreement.  No one knows what the agenda is, not even who will be representing the NHLPA.

But we at Peerless Central do have our sources, and we have obtained a transcript of what is likely to transpire during the meeting based on experts in labor negotiation, business management, and meeting facilitation.  Here is what we expect to unfold…

Good morning, everyone.  I am your meeting facilitator, and I want to welcome each of you to this meeting.  As all of you are aware, this meeting is entirely voluntary.  You are here because you are interested in reaching an agreement on some very important, but some very contentious issues.  I hope that even if we do not come to agreement today, that we will have respect for each other’s points of view and that we will have made progress toward an agreement.

Now, the first order of business is that I ask everyone to turn off his mobile device.  Has everyone turned off his device?...Good, now I would like to go around the table and have each person introduce themselves and offer a few words on what they would like to accomplish in this… yes, you have a question, sir?

“You’re a new kid on the block here, aren’t you?  You should probably let those of us who are the Chairman of the Board of Governors do the talking.”

Oh, you must be Jeremy Jacobs…they told me about you.  Well, I am the meeting facilitator here, and talking sort of goes with the job.

“hmmph…whippersnapper.”

OK, so…who’s next?

“Uh, hi… my name’s Mark, and… can I talk Mr. Jacobs?”

“Very well, but make it short.”

“Uh, ok… like I said, my name’s Mark, and came all the way from Winnipeg, and HOLY CRAP, IS THAT SIDNEY CROSBY?!”

We’ll let the players introduce themselves in a moment, Mark.  Now, if we can continue…

“Hi, my name is Ron, and I’m a contractaholic…”

(owners)… “Hi, Ron…”

“I signed a player to a 12-year contract for $104 million, and I keep seeing his face in my dreams, and HOLY CRAP, THERE IT IS!!!”

Ron, Ron, that’s Sidney sitting over there…he’s really here… OK, if we can settle down, there are a few more on the owners’ side of the table who should introduce themselves…

“My name is Murray…”

-- players snicker –

Settle down, now…please go on Murray.

“My name is Murray, and I’m here from Calgary…”

-- players laughing loudly –

“I’m Larry Tanenbaum, and…”

“Oh Tanenbaum, oh Tanenbaum…

Guys?

“Sorry, we were just getting in the spirit.”

Uh-huh… and, last but not least…

“My name’s Jeff…”

Wait, this is a meeting of National Hockey League owners and players.  Aren’t you the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles?

“No, that’s Jeff Lurie.”

Jeff Loria, you say?  I thought you were the owner of the Miami Marlins.

“He is, but I’m not him.  I’m Jeff Vinik.”

Hold on…don’t you own the Boston Red Sox?

“Yeah, well, I’m a minority owner of that club, but…”

“Wait, doesn’t he own a soccer team?”

“No, Murray…”

-- players snicker –

“No, Murray, he owns an Arena Football team.”

“No, or yes…I’m on the Board of Directors of the Liverpool Football Club over in England, and I do own the Tampa Bay Storm, but…”

So what are you doing here?

“Tampa Bay Lightning?  Heard of them, Murray?” 

OK… We’re off to a good start.  Now lets’ go around to the players.  First, Mr. Crosby…and will you please be seated?

“Sorry, I was just hovering above my seat.  It’s part of my angelic presence.”

Guess that accounts for the celestial glow, too.  Can we dial it back a notch or two?

“Sorry…”

Next we have…

“Ryan Miller…Hold on.  Sid, can you pass me a donut…rats!  Through the legs again!”

We have to keep things moving here, so who’s next?

“Jonathan Toews.”

Whoa… I thought that was a mannequin… you haven’t blinked since we started.  Next up is…

“George Parros.” – cracks knuckles menacingly -

Uh, welcome George.

“You can call me Mr. Parros.” – cracks knuckles again, menacingly –

-gulp- …of course.  OK, going down the table…

“Adrian Aucoin.”

Who?

“Adrian Aucoin, defenseman for the Columbus Blue Jackets.”

I’m sorry, Mr. Aucoin, but this is a meeting for NHL owners and players, and you…

“Play for the Columbus Blue Jackets…right.”

Do they PLAY hockey in Columbus, Mr. Aucoin?

-- owners snicker –

We’ll just continue.  Finally we have…

“Jarome Iginla.”

Well, Mr. Iginla, welcome.  Now, if we can get started, we have a great deal to accomplish and very little time in which to do it.  Yes, Mr. Jacobs?

“I just wanted to let my colleagues know that I will be speaking for them for the remainder of the proceedings.”

Well, if the other owners are agreeable…

“No, you don’t understand.  I will be doing the speaking for BOTH sides of the table…”

Uh, Mr. Jacobs, I don’t think that…

-- door flies open, it’s the Commissioner --

“Sorry guys, time’s up, we have a Board of Governors meeting to get to.”

Well, then we’ll pick it up on…

“Uh, not likely.  Let’s go, guys.”

 

A TWO-point night -- Game 24: Capitals 5 - Hurricanes 4

The Washington Capitals and Carolina Hurricanes faced one another 83 times since the Hurricanes moved to Raleigh in 1997, the Caps leading the all-time series, 44-25-7-7.  This season, however, it took until Game 24 of the season for the Caps to face their Southeast Division foes.  It would be a contest worth the wait, featuring multiple hat tricks and multiple fights, almost 80 total shots on goal, and some late controversy that had the final outcome in doubt even after the final horn had sounded.

Things got started quickly when former Capital Alexander Semin celebrated his first return to Verizon Center in a visitor’s uniform by scoring just 41 seconds into the game.  The scoring play began when Jay Harrison fired a shot at Caps goalie Michal Neuvirth.  He made the initial save, but did not control the rebound.  Eric Staal took a swing at it, but fired it into Neuvirth’s pads.  The puck bounced out to Neuivrth’s right where Semin was waiting to flip the puck over Neuvirth to put the Canes on the board.

Near the midway point of the period, Jason Chimera and Anthony Stewart got tangled up fighting for a puck along the wall.  The fighting for the puck became just a fight in short order with both players landing punches.  Although the fight might have been considered a draw, it seemed to change the momentum in the Caps’ direction.  Roman Hamrlik capitalized on the change in momentum in the 12^th minute of the period.  Mike Ribeiro and Wojtek Wolski moved the puck back and forth along the wall.  When Carolina tried a two-man press on Wolski, the Caps winger slid the puck out to Hamrlik at the blue line.  Hamrlik sent a slap shot at the Carolina net that eluded goalie Cam Ward, who was screened on the play.

Carolina took the lead back early in the second period.  With Roman Hamrlik off for interference, Eric Staal found Jussi Jokinen from low in the right wing faceoff circle with a pass into the high slot between the Caps’ defense.  Jokinen one-timed the puck into the net before Neuvirth could react to the shot.

Not three minutes later, the Caps struck. Matt Hendricks took a shot from the left wing circle that hit Jay Beagle’s skate on the way through, the puck deflecting through Cam Ward’s pads.  Ward argued the goal, and the referees went to video review.  After a short pause, the goal was upheld, and the Caps had tied the game.

Carolina took their third lead of the game 11 minutes in when Alexander Semin scored his second goal of the contest.  It was a vintage Semin play that started when he walked out from the left wing wall, curled around Joel Ward, froze defenseman Dmitry Orlov with a faked shot, then took another step before wristing the puck on the long side past Neuvirth.

The second Semin goal might have restored some momentum for Carolina, but it was frittered away when Joe Corvo took a tripping penalty at 14:43.  Just 12 seconds later, Alex Ovechkin one-timed a pass from Mike Green past Ward’s blocker, and the game was tied at three apiece.  That is how things stood going into the second intermission, although there was some extracurricular activity late in the period when Beagle and Tuomo Ruutu dropped their gloves and were sent off for fighting.

Carolina made it three for three in early-period scoring when they took another lead in the fourth minute of the third period.  It was Alexander Semin again, this time snapping a rebound of a Jay Harrison shot past Neuvirth to complete the hat trick.

Not to be outdone, Alex Ovechkin knotted the game for a fourth time after Drayson Bowman was sent to the penalty box for tripping.  Ovechkin was on the receiving end of a give and go from the left wing corner, taking a pass from Nicklas Backstrom and finding a seam between Carolina defenders.  From the edge of the left wing circle Ovechkin caught Ward overplaying a shot to the long side and snapped a shot past Ward’s blocker and inside the near post to tie the game.

With just over two minutes left in regulation it would be Ovechkin one last time.  Inexplicably, he caught the Hurricanes napping on defense as the Caps were emerging from their zone.  It started when Michal Neuvirth left the puck behind his own net for Nicklas Backstrom who started out slowly toward the Carolina end.  As he reached his blue line he sent a pass up the middle to Ovechkin knifing between the Carolina defensemen.  Ovechkin took the pass in stride and skated in alone on Ward, where he snapped the puck over Ward’s glove to complete his own hat trick.

Ovechkin’s third goal gave the Caps their first lead of the contest, but the excitement was not over.  Carolina pulled Cam Ward with just over a minute remaining, and they succeeded in pinning the Caps in their own end with pressure.  Neuvirth was up to the challenge, but a shot from Joe Corvo with under ten seconds left started a flurry of events in front of the Caps goalie.  Corvo’s shot was deflected in front of Neuvirth and hit the post to his left.  The puck caromed over to Eric Staal who tried to one-time it past Neuvirth.  He did not get a solid connection, though, and the puck slid slowly toward the clot of bodies in front.  Jussi Jokinen took a swing at it, but not enough to get the puck cleanly past Neuvirth.  The trouble was, Neuvirth did not stop the puck cleanly, either.  Neuvirth reached back to try to cover it, but the puck slid over the goal line before he could get his catching glove on it and as the final horn sounded. 

The call on the ice was a goal, but the referees skated to the phone immediately to confer with the war room in Toronto.  It was a lengthy delay, the fans in Verizon Center chanting “no goal” while the video was being reviewed.  Finally, referee Kelly Sutherland skated out and announced that the puck had indeed crossed the line completely but that it had not done so before the clock expired.  The Caps escaped with a 5-4 come-from-behind win.

Notes: Alex Ovechkin’s hat trick was his second of the season, his first coming in Game 3, a 6-1 win over Florida on October 15^th… Semin’s hat trick was his first multi-goal game since December 28^th of last season and his first hat trick since February 16, 2011 in a 7-6 Caps win at Anaheim.

Capitals 5 – Hurricanes 4