Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!! -- Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, Game 2: Capitals vs. Canadiens

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!!

Game 2

Caps Nation is in full freaking out mode… Was Umberger right? Are the coaches making mistakes? Is Ovechkin hurt/sick/possessed by demon spirits? Well, Caps fans, pour yourself a cup of calm down. Playoff series are not won in Game 1 (unless it’s a one-game series), and besides, we have it on unimpeachable authority that the Caps will do better tonight. Why? Well, our good friend Madame Lazora, seer to the stars, is here to provide a horoscopic reading of what will transpire in the hours ahead. Welcome Madame Lazora…

“I sense the tortured anguish of many lost souls screaming for release.”

No, no, Madame… that’s Caps fans. We’re looking to see what is in store for the players. Why don’t we start with the big guy. Do you see anything about Alex Ovechkin?

“Ah, Alex… I see that he is a…”

Virgo…

“That is right… I think you are perhaps a seer, no?”

Just a prognosticator, ma’am… about Alex.

“Ahh… I see that his friends and family will notice his positive frame of mind.”

His teammates?

“He will enjoy doing creative things with others today.”

Like scoring goals?

“There are many answers you have received but have not yet heard--listen. Focus your insights on discovery and not self-criticism.”

In other words, he’ll be focused, determined, click with teammates on lots of goals, right?

“Isn’t that what I said?”

OK, how about Alexander Semin?

“Ahh… I see that tremendous personal insight may come to him this Saturday. Any situation that seemed foggy or clouded in the past will become more clear and understandable now. This is a period of transformation for him and if he accepts the change, he can move into positive new directions. Doubts fade into the background and reserve is more and more a thing of the past. It is time for breaking out of a shell and letting himself be known. His destiny awaits him.”

Sounds like he might be changing lines tonight, and maybe it’ll be a signal for a big scoring night. How about Nicklas Backstrom?

“Ahh, a Sagittarius… General good feelings and a sense of support and harmony makes this a happy time.”

Sounds like just another night in Backstrom World. What about Bruce Boudreau?

“Ahh… for him this is a good time for surrounding himself with friends and young people and for having a good time. Through the end of the month, he will find the days are a little easier to maneuver through.”

You mean, as in winning a playoff series with a bunch of young hockey players?

“How should I know? You’re the prognosticator.”

OK, so let’s take a stab at that. For the Capitals, Game 2 in something of the canary in the coal mine of a playoff series. Thirteen times the Caps have won a Game 2 in a playoff series. In those 13 series the Caps have a series record of 7-6. In 17 series the Caps lost Game 2, and in those series they lost 13 times. Games 2 aren’t much in the showcase of memories, but losing this game would put the Caps in a serious hole, because there is this – the Caps have lost the first two games of a playoff series five times in franchise history. They lost four of those series, the only win coming last year against the Rangers.

Friday night was a night where order was restored to the hockey universe. All the teams who lost Game 1 of their respective series tied the series in Game 2. The stars are aligned, as it were, for the Caps tonight… So one last thing, Madame Lazora. What about Jaroslav Halak? Do you see anything in his future?

“Oh, this is troubling… I see that for him family chores can become quite tedious and boring. An occasional change of chores allows a little variety.”

As in, “getting pulled for Carey Price tonight?”

“You are a skilled prognosticator…”

Of course...


Caps 5 – Canadiens 2


horoscopes from dailyhoroscopes.com

2 comments:

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Diane said...

Great post, Peerless. I always enjoy your posts and your optimism.