At the top of the list, we have the Chicago Blackhawks, the Stanley Cup Champions?
"The Stanley Cup Champions, you ignoramus."
Fearless, leave him be. It's an honest mistake.
"Well, how can ya tell they're the champs? They have that squiggly little picture…"
“…it’s an ‘icon,’ Cheerless.”
“OK…EYE-con over there on the right. You’d think they wuz embarrassed to be the champs. And what’s with putting AT&T up in front before the championship EYE-con?”
“Because AT&T is putting up the money?”
And then we have the other contestants, those who didn’t win this time, but aren’t shy about telling us how often they did win…
“Isn’t that like a middle age lady telling us she was the prom queen way back when?”
“Don’t be a chauvinist.”
“And what’s with the phone companies… there’s Bell, and there’s AT&T again.”
There does seem to be a theme emerging. But while we have champions past and present pushing their Stanley Cup success, we have the runner-up…
"That’s like Pat bragging that he’s got the ‘second best cheesesteak in Philadelphia.’”
“There is no ‘Geno’…the guy who founded it is named ‘Joey’”
“So then why aren’t they the ‘Altoona Flyers?’”
Guys?... OK, so then we have the simple, “thank the fans” message from one team…
“I’d have thought it would have said, ‘home of Sidney Crosby.’”
Well, when you don’t have anything else, thank the fans…the ones who are paying for that new arena.
“Did you know ‘Consol Energy Center’ is really an anagram for ‘Reelect Sonny Conger?’”
“Maybe he should have his name up there.”
Then there are the loud and the proud, teams that are, well, their teams…
“Who’d brag about being ‘Jersey’s Team?’”
Is there another team in Jersey?
“There are the Nets…”
The defense rests.
“Hey cuz, there’s that ‘Bell’ thing again. I wonder if they get charged by the minute it’s up on that banner.”
And that Ottawa theme sounds rather defiant... MY town, MY team.
"Who else would want 'em?"
Yeah, well, at least that makes a little more sense than some of these other themes…
“That’s the Hockey Way?” I half expect Stompin’ Tom Connors to be the coach here.
"Yeah, and then they start singin’…
“Hello out there, we're on the air, it's 'Hockey Night' tonight.
Tension grows, the whistle blows, and the puck goes down the ice.
The goalie jumps, and the players bump, and the fans all go insane.
Someone roars, "Thrashers Suck!", and the other fan tells him to pipe down.”
And what’s up with this whole, “It’s All About the ‘A’” thing?
“Maybe it stands for ‘also-ran?’”
And what about the Wild’s “tradition” theme?
“Uh, yeah… nine years, six of them out of the playoffs, two other times losing in the first round. If tradition is in their blood, it’s got a blood-alcohol level of about a point-three-oh.”
"And you'd know all about that whole blood-alcohol thing, eh?"
"Everyone needs a hobby..."
We only have one team going with the tried-and-true alliterative theme, the Kings and the “Pride=Passion=Power” theme.
“Yeah, nice touch with the equals signs.”
“Wonder if all o’ that equals a ‘playoff’ round win… they’ve had one in the last 16 seasons.”
Then there is this study in minimalism by the Canucks. Logo on the left, Web address on the right, all that empty space in the middle.
“Yeah, kinda like Roberto Luongo’s five hole.”
Not the thing we think they were looking for.
“Like the others were?”