With the National Hockey League in lockout/lockdown mode and
the league and its players association having been joined by a mediator to help
push the process along, it is just about time to bid hope for a 2012-2013 – or
rather a “2013” – NHL season goodbye and start focusing on the NHL draft to be
held…well, whenever. And that brings us
to the rules that will govern the lottery to determine the number of ping pong
balls each team will received in the lottery to come. Sort of the NHL’s version of Powerball…
“Puckyball,” if you will.
Let us recall the rules that governed the last lottery back
in 2005, the “Sidney Crosby Sweepstakes:”
1. All 30 NHL teams
start with three ping pong balls.
2. For every playoff
appearance in the previous three seasons, a team loses one ball. Teams left with three balls:
Buffalo Sabres
Columbus Blue Jackets
New York Rangers
Pittsburgh Penguins
Atlanta Thrashers
Florida Panthers
3. Teams with a
number one overall draft pick in any of the previous four years lose one
ball. Since Atlanta and Florida had
number one draft picks in that window (Atlanta picked Ilya Kovalchuk in 2001,
and Florida had the number one overall pick in 2003 but traded it to
Pittsburgh), they dropped out, leaving four teams with three balls:
Buffalo Sabres
Columbus Blue Jackets
New York Rangers
Pittsburgh Penguins
Of course, every thoughtful hockey fan knows that the league
and Buffalo had a deal for the Sabres to host the first Winter Classic in
exchange for their balls being “lost” before they went into the tumbler for
selection. And please, who takes
Columbus being in that group seriously?
So, miracles of miracles, the two teams with the only
legitimate chance of getting the rights to speak the words “Sidney Crosby” at
the top of the 2005 draft were the league’s biggest market and its favorite pet
of a team. It was a win-win for the
league!
It begs the question, what machinations will be involved to
rig the Puckyball rules to get to the result the league wants this time? Well, our special ops forces at Peerless
Central managed to obtain the secret documents that set forth the rules that
will govern the 2013 draft lottery…
Step 1… All 30 teams start with three ping pong balls
Step 2… Teams lose a ping pong ball for each playoff
appearance in the last three years to a maximum of two balls lost (to ensure
that every team still has one ball).
Remaining teams with three balls…
Carolina
NY Islanders
Toronto
Winnipeg
Calgary
Dallas
Minnesota
Columbus
Edmonton
Step 3… Teams lose a ping pong ball for each top overall
pick in the last four years to a maximum of two, but in no case shall any team
be left with no ping pong balls.
Remaining teams with three balls…
Carolina
Toronto
Winnipeg
Calgary
Dallas
Minnesota
Columbus
Step 4… Each team having been selected to host a draft in
any year since the “schedule interruption” of 2004-2005 will lose a ping pong
ball.
Remaining teams with three balls…
Carolina
Toronto
Winnipeg
Calgary
Dallas
Step 5… Each team having hosted an NHL all-star game in any
year since the “schedule interruption” of 2004-2005 will lose a ping pong ball
(and just because you moved, don’t think you get a pass… Winniplanta).
Remaining teams with three balls…
Toronto
Calgary
Step 6… Each team whose arena was renamed since the
“schedule interruption” of 2004-2005 will lose a ping pong ball.
Remaining teams with three balls…
Toronto
Step 7… Teams having replaced their coach at least once last
season will lose a ping pong ball for every time the coach was replaced.
Remaining teams with three ping pong balls…
None
(oops...)
Step 8… Each team having opened a new arena in any of the
past three seasons will have all ping pong balls lost restored for their
contributions to the game.
Teams with three ping pong balls:
And there you have it.
The Pittsburgh Penguins will be the team with the best chance of landing
a Nathan MacKinnon or a Seth Jones in next June’s NHL entry draft, should the
2012-2013 season be cancelled. You will
find no more deserving team in the 412 area code. Well, no more deserving NHL hockey team in
the 412 area code... maybe.
For the rest of you, there is the chance of drafting the
next Alex Bourret or Sasha Pokulok. Good
luck.
3 comments:
Or would they rig it to give it to Toronto, as they are the marquee market in Canada
@Diane
I'm not sure you understand jokes.
1) Cute post.
2) In all seriousness, I believe ALL drafts should have a non weighted draft order for the 1st round. Every team with an equal chance to draft 1st.
3) It would eliminate teams 'tanking it' the last few weeks to get into the lottery and would create some drama the night of the draft. 30 'draft parties' thinking they might get the top pick. I hate rewarding losing!
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