Friday, January 21, 2011

Law and Order

Yesterday the Federal Bureau of Investigation, working with state law enforcement officials and agents, arrested more than 120 alleged members of the Mafia, including many reputed high-ranking members of the five “families” based in New York.

The arrests, the latest effort in a decades-long effort on the part of the FBI to crack down on organized crime, lifted the curtain a bit once more on the culture of organized crime and its affection for attention-grabbing nicknames. Names like Luigi “Baby Shacks” Manocchio, Andrew “Andy Mush” Russo, Benjamin “The Claw” Castellazzo, and Richard “Ritchie Nerves” Fusco were caught up in the largest mob sweep in U.S. history.

The crimes of which these dozens of alleged criminals are accused are some of the more violent in the criminal code – murder, robbery, extortion -- in addition to other, lesser crimes. One of the mobsters charged is accused of killing two men over a spilled drink at a bar in Queens 30 years ago. Another is charged with killing a man and his dog in a 1992 break-in. Then there are the various “execution-style” slayings that are sprinkled among the charges.

It is a heinous group, indeed. But an anonymous source at the Justice Department tells us that the job is not yet complete. One more hood remains on the Department’s radar, but he has not yet been arrested owing to the Department’s efforts to ensure all procedures are followed to the letter so that no technicalities can be invoked to win his freedom from justice.

The unnamed source was quoted as saying that “for all the ‘Tony Bagel’s,’ Johnny Pizza’s,’ Jimmy Gooch’s,’ and 'Vito Love’s' we picked up*, and for all the unspeakable crimes they committed, this guy we’re waiting on might be the worst of all.” The source then went on to describe the crime on which he will be arrested – a night-time assault in a public place, a premeditated hit-and-run attack on an unsuspecting pillar of the local community that left him crumpled on the ground, and even now leaves him incapacitated. “The guy never saw it coming…wasn’t even one of the families, not even an American – just a good guy, what they call a ‘good Canadian boy,’ a hero in the community,” said the source.

Another source identified the alleged assailant… David “Davey Shoulder Pads” Steckel, reputed to be a member of a family independent of the five New York families -- “La Capsa Nostra.” Steckel – along with fellow family members such as Alex “The Butcher” Ovechkin, Michal “Mickey the Glove” Neuvirth, and Matt “Matty Stitches” Hendricks – has been under surveillance by law enforcement officials and the object of much media reporting since his alleged assault on January 1st.

*  These, by the way, are real names from the indictments.

s/t to Japers' Rink for linking to the article in the National Post

7 comments:

Snktimoniuz said...

Don't forget Matty "Bloody Eye" Hendricks and Boyd "9 toe" Gordon.

Mia said...

Ya know Peerless - it's hard enough getting myself together in the morning in attempts at shaking out the cobwebs that increase every year. It's tough enough getting only 4 hours of good shut eye since the west coast games keep me up much later than is reasonable for a woman of a certain age. On top of all that, you had to go and make me laugh so hard that coffee shot out of my nose. There's no graceful morning recovery for that sort of thing. Thanks a lot Peerless - thanks a lot.

The Peerless said...

Snktimoniuz...

There is also Semyon "The Groin" Varlamov and Tom "Tommy Peanut" Poti

bwitch16 said...

And don't forget Nicky "the Swede" ;-)~

Hilarious entry!

Usually Frustrated Caps Fan said...

Dey got notin' on Stecks and der ain't no canaries around here.

Luka made sure any o da snitches were sleepin' wid da fishes before we left $hitsburgh. Side's dat kid wasn't clean, he ain't even a clean fighter, he hits below da belt - 7@ssy dats wat he is....

Caps Nut said...

There's also an ABP out for Alex "Slap Happy" Semin.

Anonymous said...

How could we forget Matthieu "the Nose" Perrault , Jason "Stone Hands" Chimera, "King Karl" Alzner, Jeff "Mr. Nasty" Schultz, John "'Mo Stashe" Erskine and Brooks "Tire Iron" Laich?