Friday, January 21, 2011
The NHL Guardian League Will Now Come to Order
Hey, who made YOU the chair, anyway? Just because you’re from Washington, that don’t make you in charge, Capital.
Someone has to do it. Besides, who is going to do it…you?
No, you’re a ticket taker at the Regal Cinemas at the Oxnard Mall.
You? The “bold, brazen lightning rod of the Florida Gulf Coast?” One fuse blows, and you’re in the dark, pal. And here’s a tip, Lightning…that whole blue Mohawk thing…makes you look like an extra from the road show of Freaks on Ice.
Oh, and will someone get The Predator a handkerchief or something…he’s drooling that radioactive plasma all over the table. We have to eat here!
Hey Blackhawk – you who control the element of wind – the last time we ordered in, we were smelling your “wind” for the rest of the afternoon. Can we get back to business?...
What? I’m just sittin’ here.
You’re touching me!
I said…move over!
Penguin, what is your problem?
It’s The Devil…he gave me hot foot and melted my ice sheet.
Hey, I’m The Devil…I’m supposed to be bad. Kinda goes with the suit, right?
Ok, Ok…settle down, Shark. I don’t think…what’s that racket out there?
No, Canuck, you can’t.
Awwwww….this Guardian League is no fun.
So sayeth the “resident guardian sage.”
Settle down, Canadien. You might be a big deal as the legendary protector of Quebec, but don’t get your bleu, blanc, et rouge in a bunch.
Hey guys…guys…look. I got a new weapon.
Hey, Blue Jacket, is that a large hadron collider in your pants, or are you just glad to be here?
Alright, that’s enough, Flame. I think it’s getting just a little bit tense in here.
Uh, yeah… Star. You’re the new one, aren’t you? Well, I understand you can manipulate magnetic tension fields, but let’s just hold off on that for now. You’re new here, and maybe you need to settle in. You got here in pretty good time.
The solar winds were with me.
That’s good. Now… ok, who took my notes?
Hey, let me clean that up…
I’m not giving up my chair.
No one is asking you to, Bruin. Besides, the last thing we want is to make you start roaring again and turning the whole operation a bunch of petrified statues. What I’m saying is…
Did we decide on lunch?
Now cut that out!
OK, OK…Shark, we’re not having sushi, we haven’t even…
I’d like some sushi…
Yeah, we know, Penguin. But that fish-breath of yours would stop a sea elephant.
I vote Tex-Mex.
You ALWAYS vote Tex-Mex, Flame.
Hey, what can I say, I like spicy hot food.
Just bottled water for me.
Bottled water for Sabre…now, can we please get on with our business? Now what’s the next item on the agenda?
First item, you mean…some chairman YOU are.
OK, Penguin, you think you’re the top dog around here just because Bettman likes you best, but you… hey, who’s flashing the lights on and off?....LIGHTNING!
I love that bit!
Makes a seven-foot tall bird just want to let out a sonic scream….