A ONE-point night -- Game 39: Hurricanes 4 - Capitals 3 (OT/SO)

On Thursday the Washington Capitals took to the ice in Raleigh, NC to face the Carolina Hurricanes and to try to establish some momentum after going 2-4-0 in their last six games.  They would do so with a depleted lineup as illness and injury took over the Caps’ locker room.  Mike Ribeiro, Marcus Johansson, Wojtek Wolski, and Dmitry Orlov all were held out of the game, giving Zach Hamill his second start this week for Washington and giving Matthias Sjogren his first start in the NHL.

Things did not start well for the Caps as Eric Staal opened the scoring just 55 seconds into the contest when the Caps got sloppy with the puck in their own end.  Jack Hillen tried to send a pass through the middle to Nicklas Backstrom at the Carolina blue line.  Staal flagged the puck down, though and ripped a wrist shot past goalie Michal Neuvirth to give the Hurricane fans something to cheer early on.

The home team added to its lead at the 9:12 mark.  This time is was Jordan Staal figuring in the scoring,  Staal outworked Jeff Schultz behind the Caps’ net and slid a backhand pass into the slot where Tuomo Ruutu buried the puck before Neuvirth could react.  Head coach Adam Oates called his timeout at this point, not liking what he was seeing on the ice, the Caps having wasted two power play opportunities and allowed two goals in less than ten minutes.

The timeout seemed to settle the Caps, at least on defense.  They could not, however, find a way to solve Carolina goalie Cam Ward.  The first period ended with the Hurricanes leading, 2-0, and leading on the shot meter by a 9-8 margin.

Things did not improve much for the Caps to open the second period.  Jack Hillen and Joey Crabb took penalties 32 seconds apart in the fourth minute to give Carolina a 5-on-3 power play.  Michal Neuvirth was nothing short of amazing in leading the penalty kill, fending off six shots in the 1:28 of 5-on-3 play and another two shots in the 5-on-4 portion of the power play. 

The penalty kill gave the Caps a lift, as they dominated territory for much of the rest of the period.  They could not, however, find the back of the net on two more power plays, making them 0-for-5 in the first 37 minutes of the game.  They finally broke through with less than two minutes left in the second period when Joel Ward scored his fifth of the year, poking a loose puck past Cam Ward’s left pad.  The second period ended that way, with Carolina holding on to a 2-1 lead and a 21-17 lead in shots on goal.

Washington opened the third period with heavy pressure on Carolina, but they were having trouble getting pucks all the way to the Hurricane net.  The inability to take advantage of that pressure came back to haunt the Caps when Jussi Jokinen wristed a puck past Neuvirth from the left wing circle with just 6:29 left.  It looked grim for the Caps as the clock wound down toward the two minute mark.  Then Carolina suffered a breakdown.  John Carlson reversed the puck along the rear wall, and Joe Corvo tried to corral it at the Capitals’ blue line. He was late getting there, though, and the puck slid into the neutral zone where Jason Chimera picked it up.  Chimera started out with Jamie McBain back.  Brooks Laich joined in the play to make it a 2-on-1.  Chimera held the puck as he entered the offensive zone, then ripped a shot that Ward got a pad on.  The rebound came out to Laich, who batted it back and into the back of the Carolina net to get the Caps within a goal.

Just over a minute later, with Neuvirth called to the bench and the Caps skating 6-on-5, the visitors tied it up.  Alex Ovechkin circled out from the left wing wall after picking up a loose puck off the stick of Mathieu Perreault.  As he skated inside the faceoff dot he used defenseman Tim Gleason as a screen for a wrist shot.  Cam Ward saw it at the last moment and got his left pad on the shot.  But he was in no position to defend a rebound, and Nicklas Backsrom pounced on it for the equalizer with just 47 seconds left in regulation.

That is how the 60-minute portion of the game ended, and the teams went to overtime.  Carolina had the better of the play in the extra session, but Neuvirth turned away all six shots he faced.  Cam Ward faced only two shots at the other end, keeping the back of his own net clear.

That left it to the Gimmick.  Matt Hendricks, Alex Ovechkin, and Mathiew Perreault took turns unsuccessfully for the Caps, while Jeff Skinner and Eric Staal failed in their own trick shot attempts.  Jussi Jokinen finished things off for the home team, though, when he snuck a snap shot through Neuvirth’s five hole that the goalie couldn’t squeeze.  Carolina skated off with a 4-3 shootout win and extended it’s lead in the Southeast Division to three points.

Hurricanes 4 – Capitals 3 (OT/SO)

The Cousins Weigh In on The Great NHL Lockout

So here we are.  Day 111 of The Great NHL Lockout of 2012…uh, 2013. 

“You realize, cousin, that the number ‘111’ is a perfect totient number.”

A what, Fearless?

“A perfect totient number.”

“Toilet number?  I thought that wuz a ‘1’ or a ‘2.’"

“Totient…totient, not ‘toilet,’ Cheerless.”

“Well, I think this whole lockout thing is a perfect number ‘2,’ if you ask me.”

Guys, can we leave exotic mathematics and bodily functions out of the discussion for the moment?  You two have been pretty quiet about this whole lockout thing.  It seems like any moonyok with a keyboard and at least two working fingers has an opinion on whether we’re going to have a season or not…

“We’re not just any moonyoks, cuz.”

No argument from me, but still, do either of you have any thoughts on the matter now that the calendar has turned over without NHL hockey on it?

“Cousin, I think everyone needs to take a deep breath and realize that these are titanic issues confronting the National Hockey League…”

“Huh…titanic.  Yeah, and look what happened to that boat.”

“As I was saying, these are titanic issues confronting the National Hockey League.  On the one hand you have grasping, greedy, graceless, grumpy grifters trying to grab the last farthing on the table.  On the other you have, well, the same thing.”

“You’ve been reading too much from them hockey media types.”

“How so, my dim-witted cousin?”

“Let me guess, you think both sides are equal to blame, even-steven, right down the middle, right?”

“Of course, such is always the way of such things.”

“So, then you’re saying that the owners locked out the players just in time, right before the players had a chance to lock out the owners, right?”

“No, what I’m saying is…”

“And both sides have given up stuff they had under the old agreement, right?”

“Well…”

“So it’s just a case of two guys who can’t seem to get along not getting along enough to make a deal that’s sitting right in front of them?”

“Uh…”

“And no one needs to be held accountable for being stoopid.”

“Well, you’d know stupid…”

“And not just that, but the stoopid things done by one side have to be paid for by the other side…you think that’s fair?”

“What’s ‘fair?’…this is a negotiation.”

“Yeah, cuz, but don’t crap in my hand and call it chocolate pudding, either.”

Guys, are you going somewhere with this or just grazing?

“That ‘Capgeek’ fella said way back in September when this whole lockout thing started that teams spent more than $1.5 billion on 177 players since the free agent stuff started on July 1.  Know how many Slim Jims that’ll buy?..."

“I don’t have the number at my fingertips.”

“…more than five billion wholesale.  I looked it up.”

“You must have spent days doing the arithmetic on your fingers and toes.”

“And now, these doofuses want to call ‘do over.’”

“But there are a lot of teams losing money, and…”

“Hey, even I can figure out that a game played on ice isn’t going to be a big draw in places where ice is only used to keep the beer cold.  Where are all these teams that are losing so much money?  According to those guys at Forbes, they’re in places like Phoenix, Tampa, Miami, Anaheim, Carolina, and Nashville.  I see six teams there, but not the ‘Original Six.’  Whose bright idea was it to put teams there?”

“But…”

“And what’s with the contracts?  Is there some Federal law that says every owner has to have at least one player with a contract that lasts as long as the gum I stuck under the table?  They got 11 teams with 16 players with contracts of at least ten years totaling $1.2 billion according to that Capgeek fella…but I did the arithmetic all by myself on that one.  These guys can’t help themselves, so they scream “stop me before I sign another guy to a gozillion year contract!’”

“You seem inspired.”

“And back to this whole even-steven thing, if the players have to give up money and contract years and this and that and the other thing, what are they getting?  What is the other side giving up?"

“Well, there’s…uh…”

“Yeah, exactly.  So, what you’re telling me, cousin, is that because one side is trying to get a deal where they end up having to give up less than what they would have had to give up in all the other proposals they got, that they’re just as much to blame for there being no hockey, even though I don’t see any players with a set of keys locking the doors to any rink so that hockey isn’t being played.”

“But it’s complicated.”

“No, it’s not.  It’s stoopid.  But the league seems to be really good at being really stoopid.  Then again, maybe we’re being really stoopid, too.”

How’s that, Cheerless?

“We’re still fans.”

Well, we’ll see.

A NO-point night -- Game 38: Penguins 4 - Capitals 1

The Washington Capitals ended the old year in dismal fashion, hoping 2013 would be more successful than the year they left behind at Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh.  The Caps were a team fighting a flu bug, and it showed as they dropped a 4-1 decision to the Penguins on Monday night.

The Caps were missing Mike Ribeiro, Marcus Johansson, and Dmitry Orlov to illness, leading the club to calling up Zach Hamill from the Hershey Bears for his first appearance in a Caps uniform, and to give Jeff Schultz a sweater for the first time since October.

The first period passed without scoring, the teams exchanging unsuccessful power plays when the Caps’ John Carlson was sent off at 12:43 for interference and Matt Cooke for the Penguins at 18:22.

The second period started a bit differently.  Mike Green was sent to the penalty box for elbowing 44 seconds into the period.  At 1:13 the Penguins converted the opportunity when Evgeni Malkin backhanded a centering feed from Sidney Crosby past Caps goalie Braden Holtby.

Pittsburgh doubled their lead at 13:36 when Malkin struck again.  This time it was more of an individual effort, picking up a pass from Kris Letang as he was heading into the neutral zone.  He feinted toward the middle, which froze Roman Hamrlik.  Malkin used the opening to curl wide where there was a clear path to the Capitals’ net.  He pulled the puck onto his forehand and slipped it between Holtby’s pads to give the home team a 2-0 lead, a score that stood up as the teams went to the second intermission.

Pittsburgh widened its lead in the eighth minute of the final period when Malkin drew two Caps to him, and Malkin found James Neal for a quick snap shot that sailed past Holtby’s glove.

The Caps got one back when Joey Crabb poked a loose puck past Pens goalie Marc-Andre Fleury after a goal-mouth scramble, but that would be as close as the Caps would come.  Craig Adams potted an empty-net goal with 29 seconds left to ice the game and send the Caps home with their second straight loss and fourth in six games by a 4-1 margin.

Notes: Ribeiro, Johansson, and Orlov all are reported as day-to-day with flu symptoms.  Wojtek Wolski left the game in the second period with what appeared to be a leg injury and did not return.  He is listed as day-to-day with a lower-body injury.

Penguins 4 – Capitals 1

A Not So Merry Virtual Week -- Caps Go 2-3-0

While we were away, the Washington Capitals – well, the virtual version of them, anyway – spent Christmas week marking time.  In five games Washington went 2-3-0 and finished the week tied with Carolina for first place in the Southeast Division with 45 points on a 21-13-3 record.  Here is how it went for the good guys…

December 22, Game 33: Boston 3 – Washington 2

Boston broke on top just 78 seconds into the game on a give-and-go between Tyler Seguin and Nathan Horton, Seguin finishing the play for his 12^th goal of the season.  Washington tied it late in the first on Nicklas Backstrom’s 10^th goal of the year, but Boston notched single goals in the second and third periods to give them a lead and insurance.  It was insurance they would need when Mike Green scored his sixth of the year with the Caps’ net empty in the last minute.  However, the Caps could get no closer, and Boston gained some measure of revenge for their Game 7 loss at TD Garden last spring.

December 23, Game 34: Washington 4 – Carolina 3 (OT)

It was the Brothers Staal Show early in this one as Eric and Jordan staked the Hurricanes to a 2-0 lead in the first period.  The visitors made it 3-0 just before the second intermission when Alexander Semin notched his 14^th goal of the season, finishing  on a curl-and-drag around Dmitry Orlov.  It looked as if the Caps would head into the Christmas break on a down note, especially when the Caps were unable to solve Carolina goalie Brian Boucher in the first half of the final period.  All of that changed when Mike Ribeiro wristed one in from the high slot after a Brooks Laich shot rebounded away from Boucher.  Troy Brouwer scored at the 15:33 mark, and the Caps came all the way back when Ribeiro scored again with 26.8 seconds left in regulation when Boucher could not find a loose puck lying at the doorstep.  The Caps secured the extra standings point when Alex Ovechkin cut inside of the Carolina defense and wristed the puck past Boucher at 4:22 of the extra period.

December 26, Game 35: Buffalo 4 – Washington 2

The Caps faced the Sabres for the first of their four games this season, and it did not end well.  It was a thoroughly sluggish effort by the Caps, who fell behind in the first on a goal by Tyler Ennis and an early second period goal by Thomas Vanek.  The Caps cut the Buffalo lead in half when Brooks Laich scored his ninth of the year on a power play at the 9:12 mark of the second period.  The Caps could not get the equalizer, though, and the Sabres reclaimed a two-goal lead when Nathan Gerbe recorded his sixth goal of the season late in the period.  The Caps climbed back within one when Wojtek Wolski scored at 12:22 of the third period.  But that would be as close as the Caps would get.  Jason Pominville scored at 14:39 for the final margin.

December 27, Game 36: Capitals 3 – Islanders 2

The post-holiday sluggishness continued for the Caps when they returned to Verizon Center to host the New York Islanders.  Washington fell behind when Kyle Okposo muscled his way to the net and stuffed the puck behind Michal Neuvirth on an Islander power play at 12:54 of the first period.  That was one of the rare scoring opportunities either team had in the first period.  The second period was different.  Matt Hendricks was the unlikely spark plug, potting his third of the season just over a minute into the period to tie the game.  Nicklas Backstrom followed in short order, scoring his 11^th of the season just 32 seconds after Hendricks’ tally.  It was Hendricks again at 4:12 to give the Caps a 3-1 lead.  It was all the Caps would need.  The Islanders made it close on a Matt Moulson goal (his 15^th of the season) with 27 seconds left, but the Islanders would threaten no more, the Caps skating off with the 3-2 win.

December 29, Game 37: Nashville 2 – Washington 0

The best word to describe this game might have been “stifling”… as in Nashville’s stifling defense.  The Predators scored just 52 seconds into the game when Mike Fisher put back a David Legwand shot.  Pekka Rinne and the Nashville defense took over from there.  Nashville held the Caps to a combined 14 shots over the first 40 minutes, and that seemed to take the fight out of the Caps.  Fisher would pot an empty net goal with 3.7 seconds left in the contest to provide the final margin, wasting a fine 27 saves on 28 shots effort by goalie Braden Holtby.

For the week Nicklas Backstrom led the Caps with six points (2-4-6) with Alex Ovechkin (1-3-4) and Mike Green (1-3-4) close behind.  In goal, Michal Neuvirth finished the week 1-2-0, 3.00, .900; while Braden Holtby finished 1-1-0, 1.93, .936.

The Five Stages of Writing the "Take It or Leave It" Labor Agreement

Comedian Larry Miller once came up with a brilliant bit that described the "five stages of drinking."  Turns out there are five stages to a lot of things, not the least of which is writing the "take it or leave it" proposal for a labor agreement.  Sort of like the "take it or leave it" agreements (note: plural) the NHL has offered up during this God-forsaken lockout. 

Here then, with apologies to Larry Miller, is how those stages unfold...

LEVEL 1:

It's 11:00 on a September weeknight, you've got crumpled paper from labor proposals littering the floor of your office. You get up to leave because you’re sick of this stuff and besides, one of your friends wants to buy you a round. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, as long as I just pass this off as a ‘take it or leave it’ deal (snap fingers), I'm cool."

LEVEL 2:

It's midnight on a weeknight in October. The other side rejected your deal, and you've just spent 20 minutes putting in a clause proposing realignment. You get up to leave again to meet your friend at the bar, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I can pass THIS off as a ‘take it or leave it’ deal (snaps fingers), I'm cool."

LEVEL 3:

One in the morning Hallowe’en night…uh, next morning. You've had your friend bring over a case of beer and a gallon of tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes writing a clause AGAINST realignment. And now you're thinking, "Don Fehr is the smartest guy I’ve ever gone up against." At level three, you respect the world. On the way to the bathroom you say hello to the custodian working the night shift because you like his face. You get fantasies. (Like, "Hey fellas, if we do this right, we could crush the union and have labor peace forever. We could do it.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger....and he's not buying your schtick. And you're thinking, "Oh, come on, come on now.  As long as I can convince everyone that THIS is a ‘take it or leave it’ deal… and get more than ten minutes of sleep before we announce it (snaps fingers), I'm cool."

LEVEL 4:

Two o’clock on Thanksgiving morning. And the devil is at the podium.  You hijacked a Budweiser delivery truck. You ARE realigned. This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the custodian on the night shift ...just because you don't like his face. And now you're thinking, "Don Fehr is the dumbest $@#% I’ve ever sat down with." Your friend won’t come within a city block of you, but you don’t care… you can scare up another Budweiser delivery truck. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well ... as long as I can pass this off as a ‘take it or leave it’ deal, I may as well ... STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND REALLY GET SH*T-FACED!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that press conference looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ...cool."

LEVEL 5:

Five in the morning the day after Christmas. After unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Sidney!!!"), you wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as ... that morning, trying to convince them that the Phoenix Coyotes really CAN make a go of it. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna make that girl Commissioner!!" Bill Daly stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!" and passes out. You crawl outside for air, and then you hit the worst part of level five ~~ the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you, and they know. And they say, "Who's Sidney?"

Let's be honest, if you're new at this job and you stay up all night, it's like a victory, like you've beat the night, but if you've done this lockout thing a few times, then that sun after you’ve spent the night trying to come up with a “take it or leave it” proposal is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again… how long?... as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "......and this time, I mean it!"

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

O wretched league, the N-H-L,

Yet still we hear thee lie!

It makes you weep, that Bettman creep,

Will let this year go by.

Yet in the darkness shineth

The ever-dimming light.

The hope we have to save the year

And by the fans do right.

For Jonathan and Sidney, too,
For others gathered ‘round,
Career clocks are a’ticking
But they remain homebound.

O will they have a meeting
And figure these things out
Before it’s clear we have no year
And fans start to check out.

A TWO-point night -- Game 32: Capitals 6 - Canadiens 2

The five game home stand of the Washington Capitals came to an end on Thursday with a visit by the Montreal Canadiens. The visitors were fresh off a tough 3-2 overtime loss in Ottawa on Wednesday night and were playing their third game in four nights. 

The heavy load for the week seemed to affect the Canadiens early.  They had no offensive flow, and when they didn’t have the puck – which was often in the early going – they looked as if they were chasing it.  The lackluster play caught up with them when Colby Armstrong took a retaliatory cross-checking penalty against Jason Chimera at the 4:13 mark of the first period.  The Caps converted the power play opportunity 41 seconds later when Brooks Laich scored his eighth goal of the year, putting back a rebound of a Mike Ribeiro shot.

Montreal found themselves shorthanded again at the 11:28 mark when Yannick Weber was sent off for holding.  The Caps made it two-for-two on the man advantage when Alex Ovechkin ripped a wrist shot past Canadiens’ goalie Peter Budaj at 11:43.

That was all the scoring in the first period, the Caps taking a 2-0 lead to the dressing room and holding a 12-7 edge in shots on goal.

Things did not get any better for Montreal to start the second period.  Tomas Kaberle tried to use his stick to deflect a pass from Mathieu Perreault to Wojtek Wolski to the left of Budaj.  Kaberle missed and was not able to recover as Wolski stepped around him and fired a wrist shot high over Budaj’s glove to give the Caps a 3-0 lead at 3:32 of the period.

Washington made it 4-0 less than six minutes later when Nicklas Backstrom performed some sleight of hand.  Backstrom looked off the Montreal defense, giving the impression that he was going to send a cross-ice pass to Alex Ovechkin in the left wing circle.  Instead, he whipped a pass behind defenseman P.K. Subban to Troy Brouwer for a tap-in to the right of Budaj.

Monttreal got one back at the 16:08 mark when Caps goalie Michal Neuvirth had trouble corralling a Colby Armstron shot.  Travis Moen poked home the loose puck and ruined Neuvirth’s bid for his first shutout of the season.  The Caps took back their four-goal lead on the next shift, though.  After Nicklas Backstrom won the ensuing faceoff back to Karl Alzner, the Caps defenseman fed the puck up to Alex Ovechkin along the left wing boards.  Ovechkin stepped over the Montreal blue line and fired a shot at Budaj.  The puck ricocheted off the shin pads of defenseman Josh Gorges, but found its way onto the stick of Backstrom skating down the slot.  Backstrom snapped a shot low and past the blocker of Budaj to give the Caps a 5-1 lead just nine seconds after the Moen goal.

Joel Ward capped the scoring for the home team when he poked the puck through Budaj’s pads from the top of the Montreal crease.  Max Pacioretty made the final score a bit less one-sided when he wristed a shot through Neuvirth’s pads at the 17:22 mark, but the damage had long ago been done.  The Caps closed their five-game home stand with their fourth win, a 6-2 win over the Canadiens.

Capitals 6 – Canadiens 2

We will be hobnobbing and egg-nogging with our fellow wizards for the next week.  Have a happy holiday, and the cousins and I will be back next week.

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

(Sung to "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen")

God cannot help you, NHL
There are no games to play.
We hoped you’d end this labor mess
Before Columbus Day.

But here we are, from Bettman’s power
Your fans have gone away.
No tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
No tidings of comfort and joy.

To Russia and to Sweden,
So many players fled,
But none of us can know just when
They’ll call this season dead.

The Union and the League, they fight;
Fans have a sense of dread.
No tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
No tidings of comfort and joy.

Pondering a number

The National Hockey League canceled its entire 2004-2005 season and has canceled all games this season through December 30.  What that means is that since October 2004, the Washington Capitals could have played in 693 games over that eight-plus year span as they contemplated New Year’s Eve this year.  They did not.  When the ball drops in Times Square to usher in 2013, the Caps will have played in 574 regular season games out of those 693 contests that were on the schedule.

17 percent of those games, lost to stupidity.

Worse things can happen, though.  For example, Poland lost 17 percent of its population in World War II.  And, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 17 percent of American adults binge drink.

But maybe it’s not a coincidence that 17 percent of the games have been lost.  According to the “Jargon File” – a glossary of computer slang – “17” is the least “random” number (I’ll have to take their word for it…).

That number might be a bit mysterious, though, having a solution we cannot readily see.  The number “17” happens to be that corresponding to the smallest number of givens in a Sudoku puzzle that has a unique solution.

For fans feeling themselves imprisoned by the lockout, remember that “17” was part of the title of a famous movie of imprisonment… “Stalag 17.”  There is also the fact that the old television series, “The Prisoner,” had 17 episodes.  And if fans feel as though they have been robbed of the joys of hockey, “Number Seventeen” was an early film by Alfred Hitchcock.  It’s about a robbery.

The Number of the Beast – 666 – is derived by summing the squares of the first seven prime numbers, “17” being the last of them.

There are 17 species of Penguins, not including any you might find in Pittsburgh.

The next player to wear “17” for the Washington Capitals will be the 17^th player in franchise history to do so.

But looking at it from the other side, there is this.  Of those 693 scheduled games since 2004, 83 percent of them will have been played when 2013 dawns.  If you score an “83” in the classroom, that works out to a “C+” grade.

Frankly, that would be an obscenely generous grade to give the NHL.

'Tis the Season... A Bonus Lockout Carol

Bettman we have heard on high
Speaking at the podium
And the press in sweet reply
Mumble softly, “uh, er, um..”

Gloria, in excelsis Gary!
Gloria, in excelsis Gary!

Owners sit by silently,
But their actions do prolong.
Without gladsome tidings be
They’re content to be headstrong.

Gloria, in excelsis Gary!
Gloria, in excelsis Gary!

Come down to New York and see
Whether we can end this thing;
Come and meet so secretly,
Stay two hours, and then take wing.

Gloria, in excelsis Gary!
Gloria, in excelsis Gary!

See the mess these suits have made
Gary, Don, and Proskauer Rose;
It’s enough, this sick charade
For fans to stay away in droves.

Gloria, in excelsis Gary!
Gloria, in excelsis Gary!

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

I'll be home for Christmas
You can plan on me
Couldn’t say “no”…to Europe’s dough
‘Cuz we don’t play for free

Christmas Eve will find me
Playing in my dream
I'll be home for Christmas
But just not for my team

I'll be home for Christmas
You can plan on me
Couldn’t say “no”…to Europe’s dough
‘Cuz we don’t play for free

Christmas Eve will find me
Playing in my dream
I'll be home for Christmas
But just not for my team

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

I'm dreaming of a long lockout
Just like the one back in oh-four
Where the players grumble,
And owners mumble
While fans are getting mighty sore.

I'm dreaming of a long lockout
With every lawsuit threat they make
All their words to fans just seem fake
And it’s just too much for us to take.

I'm dreaming of a long lockout
With every lawsuit threat they make
All their words to fans just seem fake
And it’s just too much for us to take.

A TWO-point night -- Capitals 4 - Panthers 2

The Washington Capitals took to the ice on Monday night for the fourth game in their five-game home stand, this time hosting the Florida Panthers.  The Caps and Panthers met three times earlier this season, the Caps winning all three by a combined 13-5 margin.  The Panthers came into this game a different team than the one that won the Southeast Division in 2011-2012.  The problem was that so far this season the Panthers were not seeing their way to playing hockey in extra time.  Last season the Panthers earned 32 standings points in games that went past 60 minutes (7-18).  So far this season they had a meager 2-2 record in extra-time games, and the lack of the Bettman Point contributed to their last-place position in the Southeast Division.

The Panthers did not look like a struggling team in the first period, though.  Goalie Jose Theodore was sharp, denying Nicklas Backstrom from point-blank range and fighting off a Mathieu Perreault breakaway in the game’s sixth minute. 

The Panthers used Theodore’s early acrobatics as the basis for grabbing momentum as the period wore on to the half-way point, then to take the lead when Tomas Kopecky took advantage of a turnover in the Caps’ end, snapping a loose puck past goalie Michal Neuvirth’s blocker at 9:55 for his seventh goal of the season.

Florida doubled their lead less than four minutes later.  With Nicklas Backstrom in the penalty box serving two minutes for high-sticking, Tomas Fleischmann walked out from the left wing corner.  With the Caps looking for Fleischmann to pass, the ex-Capital kept coming and backhanded the puck high over Neuvirth’s blocker to make the score 2-0 at the 13:31 mark.

Florida could not add to that total in the last six minutes of the period, but the Caps could not make a dent in the lead, either, and the teams went to their locker rooms with the Panthers holding that 2-0 lead and holding an 8-7 edge in shots on goal.

In the first period the Panthers took two minor penalties, but did not suffer any damage as a result.  The third power play for the Caps, though, was the charm.  Shawn Matthias took a cross-checking penalty at the 1:46 mark of the second period, and the Caps made the Panthers pay half a minute later.  Nicklas Backstrom took his time surveying the defense from the right wing wall and took advantage of a hole in the Panther penalty-kill to find Alex Ovechkin on a one timer from the edge of the left wing circle to put the Caps on the board at 2:15.

The goal started a deluge for the Caps.  At 3:22 Mike Ribeiro tied the game when he converted a goal-mouth centering feed from Brooks Laich through Theodore’s pads.  Less than a minute later Ovechkin gave the Caps the lead when he circled out from the left wing circle and used Panther defenseman Ed Jovanovski as a screen to beat Theodore with a wrist shot at 4:22. 

Panther coach Kevin Dineen tried to stem the Caps’ momentum by switching out goaltenders, Scott Clemmensen in for Theodore.  Then, the Panthers caught a break when Brooks Laich went off 1:25 after the Ovechkin goal for an elbowing penalty.  But the Panthers not only could not convert the power play chance to tie the game, but allowed the Caps a shorthanded goal.  A loose puck along the boards eluded defenseman Brian Campbell and skittered into the neutral zone.  Jason Chimera beat everyone to the puck and skated in alone on Clemmensen.  Chimera did not choose to deke the goalie, opting for a low wrist shot that handcuffed Clemmensen on the blocker side.  The Caps had their fourth goal in a span of 3:29.

That led to the next bit of entertainment, a bout between Matthias and the Caps’ Troy Brouwer right after the ensuing face-off.  The fight might have blunted the Caps’ momentum, but the damage was done.  The Caps went to the locker room with a 4-2 edge.

Although both teams had good chances to score – Kris Versteeg hitting the crossbar early in the period and Ovechkin being denied a hat trick when he rang the pipe at the nine-minute mark, neither team could manage to score in the third period.  The period – and the game – ended as the period began, with the Caps maintaining their 4-2 lead and winning their third game in four tries on the five-game home stand.

Capitals 4 – Panthers 2

Your Simulated Caps at the Simulated 30-Game Mark

With their simulated win over the simulated Tampa Bay Lightning last night, the simulated Washington Capitals wrapped up their first 30 games of this simulated 2012-2013 season.  The Caps hit the 30-game mark with a record of 17-10-3.  Their 37 standings points have them trailing Carolina by one point in the Southeast Division (17-11-4) and leave them fourth in the Eastern Conference.

To date, the Caps’ longest winning streak has been six games, from October 31^st through November 10^th.  Their longest losing streak has been four games (0-3-1) from October 20^th through October 29^th.  Special teams have been efficient, if in some respects not effective.  On the penalty kill the Caps rank fourth, killing off 87.2 percent of their shorthanded situations.  On the power play side the Caps rank second in power play efficiency at 21.1 percent.  However, they rank last in the league in power play opportunities (76).

Scoring-wise, the Caps are fourth overall in the league, averaging 2.97 goals-per game.  Allowing 2.53 goals-per-game leaves the Caps 11^th in scoring defense.

Goaltending has been consistent, if not spectacular.  Michal Neuvirth has appeared in 22 of the Caps first 30 games with a 2.45 goals-against average and .921 save percentage.  Braden Holtby has appeared in nine games thus far and has virtually identical statistics – a 2.44 GAA and .920 save percentage.  Neither has yet recorded a shutout.

As for the skaters, the leaders are as follows:

A TWO-point night -- Game 30: Capitals 4 - Lightning 3

Saturday night in Washington and another Southeast Division matchup.  The Washington Capitals were looking to get back on a winning track after their 3-2 loss to Philadelphia at home on Thursday night.  Saturday’s opponent was the Tampa Bay Lightning, a team the Caps defeated in Tampa in early November by a 4-2 score.  Saturday was Tampa Bay’s first visit of the season to Washington.

The Caps proved to be inhospitable in the early going.  Washington opened the scoring a little over three minutes in when Nicklas Backstrom collected the puck that ricocheted off the end wall from an Alex Ovechkin shot and whipped it into the Lightning net before goalie Mathieu Garon could cover the near post after defending the Ovechkin shot.

The goal served as a wake-up call for the Lightning, who managed to put consistent pressure on the Caps in their own end.  Goalie Michal Neuvirth was sharp, though, twice turning away Steven Stamkos one timers and a point-blank drive from Teddy Purcell in the first ten minutes.  Neuvirth’s play allowed the Caps to get out of the first period with their one-goal lead intact.

The second period started with more even play, neither team able to sustain any territorial advantage or engineer scoring chances.  That changed when Ryan Malone was sent off for boarding at the 7:08 mark of the period.  The Capitals took advantage of the power play opportunity when Nicklas Backstrom won a faceoff to the right of Garon.  He pulled the puck back cleanly to Alex Ovechkin, who took a couple of strides to his right and sent a wrist shot over Garon’s glove to give the Caps a 2-0 lead.

Washington made it 3-0 later in the period off a Lightning turnover.  Defenseman Brian Lee tried to complete a stretch pass from his own goal line, but Nicklas Backstrom was jumping on for a line change as Lee released the puck.  Backstrom got in front of the pass at the Tampa Bay line, then found Troy Brouwer at Garon’s left with a pass.  Brouwer snapped the puck over Garon’s left pad at the 13:08 mark to give the Caps the three-goal lead.

Tampa Bay narrowed the gap late in the period.  Matt Carle gloved down a clearing attempt and walked down the blue line looking for a passing opportunity.  He sent the puck deep to Neuvirth’s left.  On its way through, the puck was deflected by Teddy Purcell through Neuvirth’s pads for his sixth goal of the season.  That would close out the scoring for the second period, the Caps holding a 3-1 lead after 40 minutes.

The third period opened with Tampa Bay renewing the pressure they were able to exert on the Caps early on.  The Caps complicated the problem when Mathieu Perreault was sent off for four minutes for high-sticking Benoit Pouliot.  The Caps killed off the first half of the double-minor penalty but could not wrap up the second half.  Stamkos recorded his 11^th goal of the season when Martin St. Louis found him between two Caps defenders for a one-timer from the edge of the right wing circle.

Michal Neuvirth kept the Lightning from inflicting any more damage on the scoreboard, and the Caps took advantage of Neuvirth’s solid play at the 13:34 mark when Alex Ovechkin scored his second goal of the game and 14^th of the season by ripping a wrist shot past Mathieu Garon’s blocker.  Nicklas Backstrom was credited with the primary assist, his third helper of the game and fourth point.

That might have ended the suspense as far as the outcome was concerned, but Dmitry Orlov was sent off for delay of game when he shot the puck off the rink with 2:57 left in regulation.  The Lightning would make it a 6-on-4 advantage when they pulled Garon for an extra attacker in the last 30 seconds of the power play.  Neuvirth was equal to the task, though, and kept the Lightning from finding the back of his net over those last 30 seconds of the power play.

The Lightning would get their goal just after the penalty expired, however.  The Caps were unable to clear the puck out of their own end, and as Orlov was trying to get into defensive position after serving his penalty, Vincent Lecavalier lifted a shot over Neuvirth’s glove to bring the visitors within a goal with 52 seconds left.

That was as close as the Lightning could get, though.  Washington skated off the last 52 seconds without allowing a Lightning shot on goal, and the Caps escaped with their 17^th win of the season, 4-3.

Capitals 4 – Lightning 3

'Tis the Season...Today's Lockout Carol

Two suits meeting in a conference room

Fans a’waiting for results

Yuletide tweets being sent by the press,

Why is this so difficult?

Everybody knows that Bettman and his owner crowd,

Want to make those paychecks light.

Players grouse, getting angry and loud,

There won’t be any deal tonight.

They know that drop-dead’s on its way;

It means there won’t be any games coming our way.

And every hockey fan is going to cry,

Asking one last question, “why, oh why?”

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,

To Don and Gary for their chats,

It’s true we all want a quick end to this fray,

We’re tir’d of being your…doormats.

Yesterday's Labor Talks Made Simple

With apologies to Gary Larson...

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look at the Twitter feeds, web site and paper leads
They’re leaving hockey fans feeling so low.

It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled
And hockey fans are sore
But the ugliest sight to see is the image that will be
Bettman’s face once more.

A pair of CCM skates and hockey camp dates
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Quick as a blink, it's out to the rink
Is the hope of Janice and Jen.
And hockey fans can hardly wait for games to start again.

It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled
Ev'rywhere you go;
There's a kid standing by the glass, missing a day of class,
Waiting for games that set his cheeks a-glow.


It's beginning to look as if it’s canceled;
The talks, they fell apart,
And the thing that will make it sad is the year that we'd have had
Would make glad your heart.

'Tis the Season... Today's Lockout Carol

Sing along, kids.  You know the tune...

Have a holly jolly meeting

It's ‘bout time you save the year

Well I don't know if chances grow

But that is what we hear

Have a holly jolly meeting

And when you walk in the room

Shake the hand of ev’ry man

And stop this talk of doom

Good grief, the legal brief

All you ever see

Somebody light a match

Burn ‘em up for me

Have a holly jolly meeting

And in case we didn’t say

Oh by golly have a holly jolly meeting

To-day!

Have a holly jolly meeting

It's ‘bout time you save the year

Well I don't know if chances grow

But that is what we hear

Have a holly jolly meeting

And in case we didn’t say

Oh by golly have a holly jolly meeting

To-day!

A TWO-point night -- Game 28: Captials 4 - Penguins 2

The Washington Capitals returned to the friendly confines of Verizon Center on Tuesday to take on their archrival, the Pittsburgh Penguins, a team that was one of the surprises in the NHL in the early going, and not in a good way.  Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin were as prolific as ever, but the Penguins were having trouble getting scoring from anyone else.  James Neal, who notched his fourth goal of the season in the last meeting of these teams on Hallowe’en, has had one goal since. Chris Kunitz came into this game working on a ten-game streak of his own without a goal.  Pascal Dupuis has had success chipping in on Crosby’s goals (Crosby entered this game with 12 goals, seven of them since these teams last met), but has had only one of his own over his last dozen games.

The game started with the Penguins trying to make a statement with early pressure on Caps goalie Michal Neuvirth.  They were not able to maneuver a puck around or through him, though, over the first half of the period.  It was as the period approached the midway point that the Penguins then committed an unforced error.  Paul Martin was penalized two minutes for interference when he held up Joel Ward trying to chase a puck he chipped into the corner in the Penguin end.  

The Caps made the Penguins pay for the mistake at the 9:22 mark when Alex Ovechkin faked a slap shot from the left wing circle and passed the puck to Nicklas Backstrom at the edge of the right wing circle.  With the Penguins positioning themselves to defend an Ovechkin drive, Backstrom was uncovered and redirected the slap-pass into the net behind Penguin goalie Marc-Andre Fleury to give the Caps the early lead.  That would be the extent of the scoring in the first period, the Caps holding a 1-0 lead on the scoreboard and a 9-8 edge in shots on goal.

The second period unfolded as a replay of the first when the Penguins’ Brooks Orpik took a double-minor for high sticking Brooks Laich at the 3:48 mark of the period.  The Caps converted on the first-half of the four-minute man advantage when John Carlson fed a wrist shot from the top of the zone through a clot of bodies in front of Fleury to put the Caps up by a pair at 5:18.

Pittsburgh killed off the second half of the Caps’ man advantage, and it seemed to restore some momentum for the visitors.  The Penguins gradually tilted the ice toward the Caps’ end of the rink, and it paid off late.  Craig Adams forced Caps’ defenseman Dmitry Orlov into a turnover with hard forechecking pressure behind the Caps’ net.  Orlov coughed up the puck, which slid out to forward Joe Vitale who was skating in to support Adams.  Vitale found himself with the puck in open ice just to Neuvirth’s left, and Vitale banged it in before Neuvirth could prepare himself for the shot.

The goal seemed to wake the Capitals up, though.  Barely a minute later the Caps returned the favor of hard forechecking pressure in the Penguin end, and Joel Ward picked Matt Niskanen’s pocket, poking the puck along the end wall to Jason Chimera.  From behind the net to Fleury’s right Chimera took a hit from Ben Lovejoy as he was centering the puck for Brooks Laich.  The Capital forward did not get a clean whack at the puck, but got just enough of it to send it on net.  The pace of the shot handcuffed Fleury, and the puck slid between his pads, restoring the Caps to their two-goal lead just before the second intermission.

For the first half of the third period, it was the Caps’ turn to frustrate the Penguins with forechecking, and when the Pens were able to move the puck up ice Washington did a good job of preventing scoring opportunities.  Karl Alzner and John Carlson were especially effective in shutting down the Sidney Crosby-Chris Kunitz-Pascal Dupuis line, one that would not record a point in this game.  Mike Green and Roman Hamrlik were equally effective in containing Evgeni Malkin, who would also finish this game without a point.

The Caps’ efforts were rewarded in the 13^th minute of the period when Mathieu Perreault knifed between two Penguins to flick a rebound of a Jack Hillen shot past Fleury for the Caps’ fourth goal.  That one seemed to take the remaining wind out of the Penguins’ sails, although the visitors would get one back with under three minutes left when Brandon Sutter wristed a puck past Neuvirth from between the hash marks to close out the scoring.

Capitals 4 – Penguins 2